Monday, August 30, 2004

EXCLUSIVE--Potential Lawsuit Grows Imminent

We are reporting today that The Deceiver has grown precipitously closer to launching a major lawsuit on a Former Theatrical Employer of The Deceiver. I am quoted as saying: "We have moved to about three minutes to midnight, and I assure you, if the clock strikes twelve, there will be Festival of Asset Seizing like you have never seen." Seriously. I'm measuring window treatments for what could be my new office.

At issue is an amount of money owed to the Wife of Deceiver. "Let me be clear," I say, "There is every expectation that WoD will be renumerated in full. I was just not happy with Former Theatrical Employer's answer to questions." The Deceiver has it on good sources that FTE has been, of late, pursuing some "nickel and dime tactics" and are, generally speaking, "enormous asshatters."

By all indications, midnight will not be reached for at least another 48 hours. But The Deceiver's prediction has not changed from this past weekend, when he prophesized that the correct compensation for the services WoD rendered would not be available by the deadline. For now, we stand by that prognostication.

Developing, as they say.

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