Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Through a quesadilla, darkly

It's never fun coming down from an Oxycontin haze. The world looks so different and unfriendly. And when you are paranoid lunatic Rush Limbaugh, this drugless dotage can indeed present itself publicly as pity-inducing.

Rush, finding himself with several hours of free-time that used to passed staring at the weave in his dress socks in an Oxy-induced semi-coma has, God love him, discovered The Note, on ABC News' website. He may be the last person on Earth to do so. Wonkette is reporting today that he has apparently taken The Note's snarky self-congratulatory talk and its silly in-jokes about media conspiracy at face value. In a recent broadcast, he spoke of The Note's "Gang of 500" as if they actually exist.

What does this have to do with DC? Well, hilariously, Rush's dark pronouncements w/r/t to The Note's writers' device included a tar-brushing for DC's own Lauriol Plaza.

RUSH: I don't want to get sidetracked here. "The meeting held per usual on the top floor of the Lauriol Plaza," another place I never heard of, "did have a speakerphone set up so those in Martha's Vineyard and the Hamptons and Jackson Hole and Nantucket and Kennebunkport and aboard the Kerry train could participate." He goes on to say that Marybeth Cahill, Kerry's campaign manager, got a dial-in number.

She was able to listen to what went on, and she would not have been surprised at all about what did go on.

Blimey. How out of touch do you have to be to grimly imagine Lauriol Plaza--the great, three-story wall of conspicuous consumer spending, that gaudy temple to trendy, see-and-be-seen dining--as the watering hole of La Resistance? With a red phone set up direct to MB Cahill and the en route Kerry Campaign, no less! Grimy, beret-wearing journos grip their Gauloises and study the wires, sending carrier pigeons of splendid leftism to and fro from atop their secretive rooftop enclave. A regular Les Miserables in there, always one wine bottle away from the Red Flag Barricade.

But, if you are out there, beloved workers of Lauriol Plaza, let's unite for a spate of mysterious phone calls to Rush's home emanating from the restaurant itself. He'll freak out when he sees "Lauriol Plaza" on his caller ID.

How do I know he has caller ID? It's the best way to know your dealers' on the line.

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