Friday, September 10, 2004

Chronicle of DC Higher Education

School's back in for University students living in the District, so look for a generous uptick in Paris Hilton skirt-wearing Midwesterners crowding up the Chi Cha Lounge and straining their necks to see how many Grey Goose martinis Jenna Bush has choked down her pie hole.

Big changes are afoot for the students of Trinity College, whose graduate programs are now so prolific that the school is making the leap to become Trinity University. Given enough gumption, who knows? Maybe they'll forcibly annex the basilica next? At the very least, Trinity University sounds tasteful and un-awkward. Reporting on the story, the Post makes comparisons to the newly christened University of Mary Washington...which we find a little unwieldy, considering that we kinda feel that "University of..." is best followed by the name of a place. University of Mary Washington sounds to me like they've hollowed out a space in M-Dub's mouldering corpse. Would it have killed them to call it "Mary Washington University?"

Elsewhere, the school year is getting off to a rocky start. The GW Hatchet is reporting that one of the Mount Vernon College shuttle buses was in a bizarre crash Tuesday night, rolling down a hill and over a ledge near the Acheson Science Building. Four students and the shuttle driver were on board when the bus began its unplanned jaunt, "crashing through a railing" and going "over a 10-foot wall." No one was hurt, and DCFD Battalion Chief Al Jeffrey called the accident, "a big oops," which makes you wonder what a runaway bus has gotta do around here to qualify for "whoopsie daisy" status. The is the second bizarre MVC shuttle mishap in as many weeks--two weeks ago, an empty shuttle caught fire and burned down to its chassis. We at The Deceiver would lay odds on the buses being demonically possessed. Or manufactured in Montenegro. Or both.

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