Thursday, September 02, 2004

Deceptette--There Will be No Lawsuit

1. The threatened legal beatdown with Former Theatrical Employer reached an amicable conclusion Wednesday, after Wife of Deceiver got all the dollar bills she was owed. The paycheck was welcomed into our home as a liberator. Next up: penning the "Oh, by the way, I quit" letter. Then, we'll see if Playboy is interested.

2. The tease of sweet, sweet accountability, Part One: DC shitcans three school officials after Eastern High student walk into opening day FUBAR. Cafritz praises the move, silently thinks: "Firing people...I never thought of that!" (Washington Post)

3. The tease of sweet, sweet accountability, Part Two: Local Democratic Party deny endorsement to DC Council Cyst Kevin Chavous, only about decades too late. Chavous calls it a "set up". We call Chavous a "douchebag." (Washington Post)

4. How Washington can be brought to it's knees: Pepper spray discharge leads to massive hurling freakout on Eye Street. Washington Post lauds response "elaborate," thus demeaning the hard work and noteworthy accomplishments of euphemisms throughout history. (Post, again.)

5. DCist's Lorelei Brown unearths the private history of the Washingtoniennes of yore. Fantastic reading. Remember: long before the bitches started setting us up, we were setting up the bitches left and right. (DCist)

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