Tuesday, September 21, 2004

World's Greatest Douchebags is just not creative enough.

DCist points to a previously-unknown-to-DCeiver paragon of unintentional hilarity and fountain of social self-immolation known as the World's Greatest Players. Oh, my.

Player Leland, graphically depicted here in what looks like a record-setting hamstring pull, alludes to his own sex life by describing himself as a "cicada emerging from 17 years in the larval state" and goes on to describe injuring his left index finger with a cooking knife. So gangsta, n'est-ce pas?

Player Dan, who boasts of "play-action", "single-sex high school", "silver tongue" and his array of hobbies, sends the clear message: "When the lights go down, I'm at McFaddens, but when I go down, color me a member of Velvet Nation."

Player Andrew, who pines for his "broken heart", lays it all out there truthfully: "Sadly, I was smaller than most kids my age." He adds: "It was not due to, but despite of my size that I was able to compete." Awwwww. Keep telling yourself that! And we'll keep calling you, "The Cute One."

The site teases an upcoming story on this Trio of Tallywankers "attempt at stand-up" comedy. If that's as good as the sit-down comedy they are providing me with now, I'll need to get my physician to re-up my percocets.

No comments: