Friday, October 01, 2004

DCeiver watches the debate

Because there was a call for some commentary, and because I technically watched the debate with other people from the DC-Metro area, I'll offer some comment up.

Last night, The DCeiver, who was, 24 hours ago planning on getting his Tift Merritt on, watched the debate instead. Because while I hate the playaz, I loves me The Game. So, I gathered with friends to watch the debate we were a cross section of America, from Democrats, to people who volunteered for Democrats, to people who used to work on the Gore campaign, to people who currently work for Senator Feingold, to a dog who liked to lick his own balls.

Now, I prefer to elaborate on the debate at greater length and elsewhere, mainly because this is a place where I consolidate my DC snark and also because I want to take Saturday morning to sit down with the transcript, replay the video, pull out my highlighter, look for patterns, divine the strategy, and then get told by Wife of Deceiver, "Christ, sweetie, you're not a political scientist or a semiotician! Now will you feed the cats?" And then, while feeding the cats, I'll come up with a great poop joke.

But, I am one of those people who is disinclined to be too positive about John Kerry's chances. That being said, after a slow start, Kerry began a surprisingly thorough kicking of George Bush's punk ass. He gave answers of the clarity I've been begging for for a few months. He didn't meander off into rhetorical thickets. He maintained poise. And he gave answers that were clearly designed to get under Bush's skin. There were ten things I wanted him to do, and while he didn't ace any of them, he got a high passing grade in most. Instead of the continuation of the great unraveling I was expecting, I now think that a tidy little bounce is going to be registered within seven days, and the media's going to get the horse race they want.

Let me see if I can sum up Bush's foreign policy vision. He has what he calls "an understanding" about what being President means. He says he is effective because people "talk to him" and "call him on the phone." He has meetings with people. Over and over again, in discussing the future outcomes of his policy decisions Bush used the phrase: "I hope so..." I was all: "Please keep saying that. Please keep saying I hope everything will be okay." Each time he did that, it gave me a hard on. A political hard on. Okay. An actual hard on.

And did you see how often Bush drank his water? At least someone was playing the Wonkette drinking game! The two women from Senator Feingold's office said: "You have to use that line in the DCeiver!" Mission accomplished.

Speaking of, did you know that Feingold is going to have SIX debates with his opponent?? SIX! They are:

1. National Security
2. Wisconsin Issues
3. Packers Trivia
4. A game of quarters in the middle of Lake Geneva.
5. Rochambeau: best of seven
6. Hot Wisconsin-on-Wisconsin action.

My bold prediction, by the way, is that Bush will find some excuse to back out of at least one of the debates.

We'll see.

More later.

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