Thursday, October 07, 2004

DCeptette: Always Shitfaced, Never Outgunned Edition

  1. While many jurists and philosophers contend with questions like: "Does life begin at conception?", one lucky DC court will get to decide the point at which "eating" begins and ends. Expect whimsical deliberations on the nature of chewing and digesting as the Payday Lady goes to trial for having food in her mouth at the Metro. (News 8)
  2. The DC area is running out of delicious flu shots! Well, don't blame The Deceiver--he's allergic to the flu shot! And yes, the ten days I spent last winter with the A-Fujian flu were fantastic, thanks for asking! (Moonie Times)
  3. Okay. Can we just settle this matter? My father-in-law watched the plane crash. My wife got a phonecall from her boss who was right next to the Pentagon when it happened. Enough. (Post)
  4. Glover Park's Austin Grill is looking for some hot Bush action! In what can only be described as a pre-emptive strike against Smith Point, Austin Grill bartender Mike Holden has extended Jenna Bush (along with any other First Daughter looking to accessorize with gin blossoms) the invitation to get falling-down shitty on Tuesdays and Wednesdays from 11am to 4:30pm. BC-Re-Elect in Arlington braces themselves for a midweek personnel shortage in the envelope-licking department. (Leiby)
  5. Elsewhere, Leiby uses Bill Russell's appearance at the National Museum of American History to admonish the Minnesota Timberwolves. WTF??? His mind must have been wandering there. (Leiby)
  6. Thanks to a nearly infintesimal advancement in your gun rights, we can all sleep easier knowing that the overthrow of the U.S. Government will not take place in the Kiss and Ride outside the Air Tran terminal at Washington National. Unless of course, it does. (Post)

No comments: