Friday, October 22, 2004

DCeptette: Crouching Red Line, Hidden Payday Bars Version

  1. Post features profiles of dueling doyennes of domesticity Juleanna Glover-Weiss and Nancy Jacobsen Penn--who elevate their partisan hackery by reinterpreting it for the cocks and tails politico-socialite set. Juleanna's the alkie-Republican, Nancy's a Democrat and has something to do with "lifeboats." Ominous. A side note: we're happy to hear that Juleanna's a snap with a plate of canapes, but when it comes to working on campaigns, we wonder: Juleanna, are you above the Mendoza line yet, sweetie? (Names and Faces)
  2. Peter Marks has shocking news for us in Washington, DC. Brooklyn: The Musical kind of sucks. No shit? Well, you could knock me over with an anvil! Peter, again we ask--What the fuck are you doing in New York City? We're sorry no one would hire you, but you are a DC Theatre Critic! Brooklyn The Musical is not going to be coming to DC, ever, and I can't think of anyone here who was going to see it either! So, either come home and do your job or stay there and work retail! (Post)
  3. The flu-shot hilarity continues. Let me ask you something. Isn't it weird that this came up at the Presidential debates, and now everyone is freaking out about flu shots as if influenza just arrived last week from Mars? What if Bob Schieffer had expressed concern over the shortage of Bjork albums? (Post)
  4. So the WMATA is going to improve Metro service by learning "verbal judo?" All right then! I've trained for years in linguistic kung-fu, East Coast style snark jujitsu, and I have black belt in "Your Mama." Let's get it on, bitches! (DCist)
  5. Fallout from the Georgetown fire and the wave of student displacement has metastasized to the campus of George Washington University--an ominous thought, given GWU's legendary proclivity for snatching up any piece of Foggy Bottom property that's not nailed down. When reached for comment, President Steven Trachtenburg stated: "Mmmmwhaaa haaa haaa haaa!" He then paused and sucked the blood from a live parakeet. (Post)

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