Monday, October 04, 2004

The Diary of Freddy Adu

You know, the cynics among you would have you believe that no one has any character anymore, that no one would sacrifice themselves for their fellow man, give up their time to help the helpless, protect the innocent from the cold hand of tyranny that lurks around the corner.

Well, we are happy to report that this is not the case, and that a hotbed of citizen gallantry that would stir the heart of Oskar Schindler still exists, and does so right here, near the nation's capital.

Freddy Adu is the youngest member of the DC United. A phenom. The future of the sport in America. I'd say, despite his young age, he's earned the right to get his drink on, and the soccer enthusiasts of the University of Maryland have taken Adu under their wing and said that he shall drink of the Southern Comfort. He shall sip of the Natty Bo.

But there are those out there who don't understand soccer, who cast dark stares at those of us who revel in the thrill of a 1-1 tie with the Columbus Crew. And this weekend, those malevolent factions went hunting fro Freddy Adu.

Yes. As we have often regretfully said: "First, they came for Freddy Adu. But I did not speak up, for I was not Freddy Adu." But University of Maryland student Rob Fitzgerald, knew of the folly of keeping silent. So when they came for Adu this weekend, with a command: "Get Freddy Adu out of here!", Fitzgerald and others flew into motion, escaping from the party, evading the po-po, hopping a nearby fence. Whatever it took, people. Whatever it took to open up a terminal of the Underaged Railroad.

I can only imagine Fitzgerald today, reading the police blotter, and it's long list of incidents regarding underaged drinking. "One more!" Fitzgerald is probably declaiming. "If I could have saved one more! Look, this kid was arrested a block from here! I could have done more. I could have done more!"

Dry your eyes, Rob. For one who saves a single teenager from the drunk tank saves the world entire.

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