Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Senators are cracking up under the pressure.

Could someone get a bucket of Xanax over to the Russell Senate Office Building? Two of our esteemed Senators have picked this week to go absolutely bonkers for some reason.

Following up on the news that Senator Mark Dayton of Minnesota had...well--totally lost his shit over some top secret intelligence that no one else will cop to seeing, we contacted a tipster at the Senate and asked, "What up?" The tipster told us that Dayton has indeed shuttered his office and told his staff to amscray. Moreover, Dayton has stated that he would not bring his children to the US Capitol and has decreed "no staffer was safe" until election day. Apparently, he is referring to people that stay behind as "human shields." Just when you thought it was safe to go back into committee!

In other news, we've been following the mental struggles of Senator Jim Bunning of Kentucky over on our sister site. Bunning seems to have foundered his cerebral skiff somewhere in the Dementia Triangle. If you thought Bush was unhinged enough to wear a wire and make like Charlie McCarthy, the measures the GOP have taken to protect Bunning from saying something insane are far more severe--he debated his opponent Daniel Mongiardo this past Monday safely cocooned inside the RNC headquarters, where operatives sat him down and made him read things off of a teleprompter. After the debate, however, the broken mind of Jim Bunning let loose with some high weirdness--claiming that Mongiardo's staff (it's not clear whether it was one staff member or the WHOLE staff, based upon the statements) had assaulted his wife at something called the Fancy Farm Picnic.

No idea how the frayed mental well being of Dayton and Bunning is going to play itself out electorally, but DCers should be careful of these two cracked nuts for the time being.

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