Tuesday, November 16, 2004

The Continuing Saga of The DCeiver and Big Yawn

If you've been following the boards over at the 9:30 club, you know that the Army of Big Yawn, in general a flotilla of writers dedicated to the passionate pursuit of the generic, have had their opportunity to vent their spleen in support of their God-given right to be indignant about criticism. They've obliquely offered the sentiment: "Don't think for a moment that you know better than us." They've described their "lack of ego" as the key to their critical success, which I suppose would be a good argument were it not for the Complete Works of Every Rock Critic Who Ever Lived standing in as evidence to the opposite. One BYer has even told a little birdy that he'd like to opportunity to sit with me and explain how wrong, wrong, wrong I am. Please make sure I am drunk for that little powwow!

All of this is soooooooooo much dancing about architecture. I think as far as rock critics go, Big Yawn are excellent web designers. But, can one offer, say, a Basis for Comparison? Why yes. A wee one, but a Basis for Comparison, nonetheless.

I cast your memory back to 10/9/04. On that date, I discovered that Big Yawn had handicapped the Shortlist Prize. I said, "Hmmmm," on that day because, by coincidence, in my role as rock critic for The Diner (full disclosure, I am more derelict in those duties than BY has ever been in theirs) I had done so as well.

Summing up, Big Yawn had this to say in way of making a prediction: "So, there you have it. A full out dog fight between the coal-miner's daughter [Loretta Lynn], and the Austrian Archdukes [Franz Ferdinand]. With the possility [sic] that just maybe a longshot horse can sneek [sic] in." They had given Franz Ferdinand 2-3 odds of winning, Loretta Lynn 3-1 odds. They allowed that TV On The Radio had "a shot, depending on the way the wind is blowing."

On the other hand, I more or less came to the exact opposite conclusion. TV On The Radio, opined I, was "quite simply the only record on the Shortlist that can be considered to be on the vanguard of rock's future, and it doesn't sound like anything you've heard before." I went on to state: "As the Long List was pared down to the Shortlist, no record was selected more often by the judges than TV on the Radio. I expect Loretta Lynn and Franz Ferdinand to be real contenders going forward, but I think the Shortlist is going to Desperate Youth, Bloodthirsty Babes, and as far as I'm concerned, it belongs there."

Note the ego, please. Note the all-around, standing-for-something, do.

Well, it didn't surprise me at all to read on [information leafblower] today that TV On The Radio, did, in fact win. So, how long a moratorium should I get from people who declaim that I shouldn't "think for a minute that I know better?"

At any rate, congratulations to TV On The Radio, who truly are deserving of that award.

And Big Yawn? That's called KICKING YOUR ASS.


Anonymous said...

having flame wars on music sites is the new black!


Castor OiL said...

Really, I think the only solution to this thing is a shirtless street brawl with broken bottles and lots of headbashing with hubcaps and trashcan lids. Bloody t-shirts and lots of incomprehensilbe yelling are encouraged. If it's just you vs. 32 reviewers you could totally go down in history like the Spartans at the Battle of Thermopylae....only drunk.

The Deceiver said...

Don't think that the notion of old-school battle of muscle, mind and sinew doesn't appeal to me. Something akin to Caesar's campaign against the Gauls or the dusty ramparts of the Trojan War. I just have a feeling that it would end up looking more like a scene from 28 DAYS LATER, with me running from the zombie horde of brain-eating blands, looking for a torch.

Castor OiL said...

You can be battle weary and ride the rails at night eluding your foes and searching for your homeland just like the Warriors trying to get home. At least until Metro closes at 12:00. Then you would have to take a cab.

Mike said...

The cabs are on strike though. Don't you read your DCist, Stevie Ray Castor Oil? Zip Cars instead maybe?

Here's a Hint said...

The best thing is that I don't even know what the fuck the apparently-coveted "Shortlist" award is. According to NME, it's the equivalent of some other prize I've also never heard of. I guess I just don't understand the fascination with what artists and celebrities opinions. If they love TV on The Radio so much, why not give them some tour support/money/etc. I'm sure their Shortlist Award statuette will look good in the van-down-by-the-river where they probably have to sleep since selling <1,000,000 records ensures instant career death on any major label.

The Deceiver said...

There is a monetary prize with the Shortlist Award, which TVOTR plans to spend on "back rent". I am not making that up.

Anonymous said...

Maybe they should turn the Shortlist Award into one of those "pay my bills" sweepstakes...

Anonymous said...

Let's at least get the facts right, the complete quotes you were so happy to take out of context to put yourself more in the right were:

"We are less than one year old... and are still growing and learning. When one of you takes the time and money out of your life to run a site like this, let's talk. Until then, by all means criticize or praise us, I don't give a fuck. But don't for a second think you know any better than us."


"Don't we have enough crankiness in this town? Really. Also, creatively sarcastic or commentary is cool, but I don't need someone's ego to sound "hip" to overshadow a review."

Not exactly what you were saying. Plus, the latter quote was from someone who doesn't even write for BigYawn. Awesome job on the facts there DCeiver. You think everyone on the 930 board is a BYer just cause they called you out? Good job at the ignorance thing, I think even BY would give you a 9.0 for that.

Anonymous said...

And while we're at it, you might as well give the full quote for BY's mention of TVOTR in their Shortlist handicapping:

"I think if the world worked perfectly, these fellas from NYC would walk away with the Shorty. (You heard me, the Shorty) But the world doesn't work that way. This is truely a groundbreaking album that has gone way too unnoticed. Yeah, most of you reading this probably have it, but not enough of your friends do. I think just being nominated will do wonders for these guys. Still, they have a shot, depending on the way the wind is blowing.
Odds: 4-1 "

The Deceiver said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Here's a Hint said...

This post has been added by its author.

The Deceiver said...

I went ahead and moved my response to the blog itself.

Anonymous said...

I didn't write anything on the 930 board, and am merely a lowly writer at BigYawn. Your gross generalizations are again false. I really don't get you, and I'm sure it would take a 6 year psychology degree from Gtown to get you, and that's not worth it.

It's nice you have a cause I suppose, to wrag on BigYawn whenever possible. While I know you piss off the powers that be at BY, you also inevitably bring them a lot of traffic. Traffic that oddly enough, comes back. Perhaps it's to see what the horrible website is up to, or perhaps they are mindless pathetic imbeciles who actually find some use for something on the site. I kinda feel bad in a way, cause I know how hard some of those guys at BY work. But in the end, whether or not anyone cares about BY, I feel comforted that the more you hate and rant about a website just trying to stimulate folks -- and nothing else -- the more your readers realize you are an ass.

With a million other sites to trash, for some reason you choose BigYawn. Maybe they aren't as awesome as your fantastic shrine to intelligence, or even as awesome a local music site as you think they should be. I'm pretty sure they also never claiming to be anything more than some folks trying to change something. Maybe they are failing, but what's up with you so vicously attacking them? What did they do to piss you off? Look in the mirror man, you've got some sort of fucked up OCD or something. I know BY just ignores you, maybe I should too. You are one sick fuck.

The Deceiver said...

You want to talk about psychological disorders, dude? Really? Well, how about your rampant egotism. I attach no CAUSE to this blog, certainly not to solely rag on Big Yawn. I slam those things that I feel need slamming and praise that which I feel demands praising. You're fixating on a tiny percentage of my content, most likely because your ego only responds to that tiny percentage, and you thus allow yourself to live in the delusion that the rest of this website simply doesn't exist!

It's a similar malady the presented itself on the 930 boards, where someone insisted I was full of bile and hate. Bile I have in goodly supply, but hate? Come on now. This blog has a regular feature called CALLING ALL ENTHUSIASTS that highlights the great things going on here?

As far as my readers, they are doing fine. This digression is giving them a great deal of enjoyment. And, like I said, when BY elevates to a level that approaches my standard, which plenty of rational people have had rational discussions with me about, I promise and pledge, I will fight my way to the front of the crowd and proclaim Big Yawn's glories before all and humbly salute them!

In the meantime, you might consider an opthalrectomy to improve your shitty outlook. To do this: Pull your head from without your ass.

Kisses<---the deceiver

Anonymous said...

Whatever man, you are anything but rational. How many times in the past few weeks have to talked shit about BY? And why have you and your rational friends not written Eric @ Bigyawn to talk to him about stuff, ask for improvements etc... I think that approach works better than, your fucking site blows. He is the voice of BigYawn, so if you really want to get your point across, why not just talk to him if you care so much? If not, just shut the fuck up. And for to claim you are not a hater is laughable.

The Deceiver said...

I have made somewhere in the vicinity of 160-175 separate postings on this blog. Exactly ten of those posts mention Big Yawn--and that includes an occasion in which Here's a Hint mentioned Big Yawn in an interview. Allowing for the low number of total posts, 160, you can say that the DCeiver mentions Big Yawn approximately SIX percent of the time. Which is about as often as I mention Carling Dinkler. Big Yawn can thus be hardly considered to be an obsession of this blog.

In answer to the question: Why have I not written BY? Well, honestly, I have decided to do so (see my most recent post). But really: Why should I? Why would I presume that they have the slightest interest in what I have to say? It seems plainly obvious that there are those who are interested, and they have come, saw, and even commented. So, what more do I have to do? Bill Safire writes columns that criticize John Kerry. Do you think it's required of Safire to call him up and help him out?

As far as me being a hater, I'm sorry, the proof says otherwise. In the past week alone, I have praised:

--The November 3rd Theses
--TV on the Radio
--Rorschach Theatre
--Karl Miller
--the rest of the Accidental Death of an Anarchist cast
--Grady Weatherford
--the DC United
--specifically held out for praise, Alecko Eskandarian
--Full Minute of Mercury
--specifically cited, four separate members of that band
--Karmella's Game
--sex workers
--Weezer, The Rentals and Chopper One
--author Jay Parini
--blogger Ana Marie Cox

Again. You can look it up. That's an awful lot of praise doled out by a "hater." And just for the record, I think FMHg's drummer is awesome, too.