Monday, November 15, 2004

DCeptette: Don't Drink the Water Version

  1. The hoity-toit in Spring Valley continue to be plagued by a high incidence of neighborhood pestilence. Spring Valley was a major dumping ground for chemical weapons back in the WWI era--you know, before we realized that we could simply give that shit to bloodthirsty dictators and then indict them after the fact. While common sense should have anyone convinced that two and two makes a mean motherfuckin' four, some medical experts, in keeping with our President's neo-Lysenkoist view of modern science, say that studies are inconclusive. So, look for those studies blaming trial lawyers real soon! (DCist)
  2. Ooopsie-daisy! As time ticks off the clock in the Linda Cropp-induced overtime period in the battle for DC baseball, the threads continue to unravel for Team Tony Williams. The Washington Post is reporting that their independent analysis reveals that there are $174 million dollars in hidden costs that aren't factored into the Mayor's estimate. And, we at The DCeiver challenge you to find anything in this town built on budget. (Post, via DCist)
  3. We see a hook for greenlighting a third Anaconda movie: When you see what a massive, thick, trouser snake Dick Cheney's packing in his chinos, it's hard to fathom how Lynne Cheney ended up on the other side of the culture war. Nevertheless, it does ably explain what it was that scared the heterosexuality out of Mary. (Unbefuckinglievable photo available on Wonkette)
  4. Robert I.H. Hammerman, retired Baltimore Circuit Court judge and top-ten All Time on the Judicial All-Name Team, mysteriously commits suicide in what appears to be a long and well-thought out plan to avoid the pain of Alzheimer's Disease and the potential to being named to Bush's Supreme Court. (Post)
  5. The Moonie DIgest warns that we must be vigilant to prevent "regulation" from sabotaging the home-schooled. We couldn't agree more! Any single piece of "regulation" may in itself ensure that the home-schooled learn something, and then we'd all be potentially risking something when we simply throw their resumes in the garbage can. By ensuring that no governmental oversight occurs, we can keep the home-schooled unemployable forever. Who's seriously against this? (The Moonie Chowder Society Scribble Sheet)

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