Tuesday, November 30, 2004

November 2004--A Month of DCeption in Retrospect

Well November is over and done, and with it, we leave the election, Thanksgiving and our time-consuming beef with the wee ones at Big Yawn behind. Once again, let's give up some thanks to you, the readers, who made November our best non-Wonkette month to date. And we also thank those folks on the blogroll to the right, who've kicked some love my way whenever I was worthy of it and didn't defame me when I wasn't. All readers are encouraged to click over to those blogs on a regular basis. DC has got a really good blogging community, and you're apt to find some intelligent and entertaining writing if you just explore a little. Of course, it pays to get out a little also, but when you are the DCeiver, you find yourself stapled and taped to your chair at work during the month of December. It wasn't this way when the DCeiver was working for a government contractor, but then again, working for government contractors, at any level, is like working for Satan, only a deeply retarded Satan.

The big news is that Washingtonian has named
DCist one of the city's best blogs. As the least important contributor to DCist, I can only say that this is totally fucking awesome, and I hope we celebrate with whatever money is left in the lovely and talented Jen Chung's expense account.

People ask me all the time: "What's it like being the least important contributor at one of DC's finest blogs?" And the answer is: Duh. Like I said one paragraph ago: Totally. Fucking. Awesome. You should see the blazing smoking jackets we get to wear at gatherings. And it's not difficult making sure Mike Grass and Rob Goodspeed always have fresh whiskey sours within reach. In turn, they tolerate my antics with great aplomb. I hope for many happy DCist days for all of Washington, and I'll hopefully come up with something to contribute after Redskins season is over.

Here's what went down in November:

  • We profiled the various and sundry Votergasm options, and suspect after the fact that most people in DC were mad-faking theirs the way election night played out.
  • We jumped up and down on the heads of the Didactic Theatre Company, because their name, frankly, sucks. Theatrical practitioners should never even use the word "didactic" in conversation. It is the didacticism of theatre that causes people to stay home from it in droves.
  • We tracked the swiftly tilting battlefield that was the DC Council, as the suits haggled and bargained and meowed and hissed over where the shitty, shitty baseball team we got was going to play when they get here.
  • Of course, our signature contribution during the month of November was giving Big Yawn the one thing they couldn't obtain for themselves--a small shred of temporary relevance. You're welcome!
  • We really tried to get people to start calling Alberto Gonzalez "The Spanish Inquisition", but it never took off. This is our last ditch, lame attempt.
  • Full Minute of Mercury? We joined the multilateral bloggasm in proclaiming their awesomeness.
  • DC and football glory don't go together? That all depends on what you mean by football! The DC United bring home the MLS Cup thanks to Alecko Eskandarian.
  • I don't have any say in what the Helen Hayes people judge to be great acting, but I'll be damned if Karl Miller didn't etch his name in the firmament with his exemplary performance in Rorschach's The Accidental Death of an Anarchist. And, yes, I know I'm a total Rorschach tout, but I stand by everything I said in that review.
  • The DCeiver torches the pissy faux-moralists who want to shut down gay-straight school groups.
  • Adam Eidinger protests the Washington Nationals, but he didn't care enough about it to set a Chinese New Year dragon on fire.

Thanks for reading people! And please bear with us in December, as we'll be leaving town for a week of floating in the Caribbean--and we're not sure they let you blog out there.

1 comment:

Skunkeye said...

Yo keep up the good word and power, pare!