Wednesday, December 15, 2004

The DCeiver was once the Charlottesvillain

I have the urge to wander off-topic for a brief moment, because I have got some stuff rumbling around my head with regards to my old hometown of Charlottesville, Virginia that I want to just get out there. Since there seem to be a weird subsection of the area blogosphere that spent time down there, I feel like it's okay to bring this in. But, yeah, this is wandering far afield, so bear with me.

In the first place, a running item for all former UVA folk: No, Bodo's is still not open. We're taking all bets as to whether any of you think 2005 is going to be the year.

Second, yesterday in Gregg Easterbrook's excellent NFL column, he posted the following:

Last week, yours truly noted that Florida State now plays at Bobby Bowden Field at Doak Campbell Stadium. Doug Keegan of Austin, Texas, notes that UT's main football location is now Joe Jamail Field at Darrell K. Royal-Texas Memorial Stadium. Matt Meyers of Charlottesville, Va., notes that UVA plays at The Carl Smith Center, Home of David A. Harrison III Field at Scott Stadium. This unspeakable name, in the literal sense, is "no longer just a vision," the school's web site reassures.

Yeah, that is an indecipherable mess of names. Sadly, this sort of weird naming is likely to continue for major universities around the country as alumni donors pile on to make upgrades and renovations at previously named edifices. The DCeiver never lived at Monroe Hill College, for example (he resided off campus after first year, first in the Ivy Road ghetto known as University Heights, near Tokyo Rose--where you can see bad indie rock and eat worse sushi--and finally moved to 1718 JPA on the corner of JPA and Maywood (and that used to be a sweet hang, though passersby should take note, our former domicile used to have a big front porch and large front yard, both have been removed and another huge house now sits on the corner, defacing this once lovely house in a total travesty--as God as my witness, when I am independently wealthy I shall put this back the way it was)), but part of me died inside when Monroe Hill College became the Brown Residence College at Monroe Hill.

The only thing I can say is that we should all be thankful that most colleges' buildings are at least named somewhat tastefully. We want to keep encouraging rock stars and celebrities to blow their money on drugs and plastic surgery, because no one wants the Nicole Richie Science Wing or the Hoobastank Center for Women's Studies. UVA, by the way, has two buildings, delightfully named Cocke and Balz. That is, as they say, awesome.

Closer to home, I received the most recent email from my friends at the UVA Club of Washington. At the aesthetic wonder known as the Crystal Gateway Marriott next Thursday, the UVA Club is having a special event with UVA President John Casteen (whose son was in an 300 English class with me, and is a total pretentious douchebag). John Casteen is described by the UVA Club as "a great speaker", which could only mean that he has been hooked up to cables so music can be broadcast through his body.

In addition, the UVA Club of Washington's letter contained a note entitled "Hoo Lives in Arlington?" which describes a gathering at the Central Library on Quincy Street. Attendees are told to expect to learn about "how to participate in social and community activities that don't require commuting to DC!"

Dude, I didn't realize that commuting to DC is so onerous for people in Arlington! Who knew that the four-mile trip was such a soul-crushing ordeal? Arlington used to BE PART of DC. "Commuting" is what you do when you have to come from Reston to Tysons Corner or go from Arlington to Silver Spring. Arlington to DC doesn't seem that much harder than, say, checking your mail. But, to be fair, maybe the UVA Club of Washington is filled with amputees. If that's the case, then Wahoowa, Stubbies!

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