Wednesday, December 15, 2004

DCeptette: I'm Not Okay (I Promise) Version

Posted by Hello

  1. Take a look at Mr. Harold Brazil. Kissy-ass ass kissing douche, as always. Well, the vote sure didn't go the way anyone thought! Linda Cropp had me thinking that she was gonna saddle her fat ass on the Nationals pony and ride, ride, ride! Well, it looks like those under the table payoffs from the MLB didn't come. I think I understand why: those baseball owners are total effing gangsters when you break it down, but our own city government wrote the book on gangster. The MLB'll have to resolve this matter like the end of the movie State and Main, or else it's not getting resolved. At least as far as baseball in DC goes, which is beginning to look a lot like not Christmas for the four or five Nationals diehards out there. This team could be heading out to Vegas--which is surely going to give Pete Rose a new platoon of hemmorhoids to deal with. Anyway, we've got Major League Baseball, Peter Angelos, Tony Williams, the DC Council--who are we supposed to be rooting for again? And don't say Adam Eidinger or I will have to open up a can of slappy. Maybe we'd all be better served if we built this stadium and designed it so it could collapse on all these people. I've got a crisp five dollar bill to go to that cause. (Post)
  2. In other sports related news, the Arlington County Board has approved a plan to build a $40 million dollar training facility for the Washington Capitals that will sit atop the Ballston Commons. Sounds pretty cool, but could someone refresh my memory...what are the "Washington Capitals" again? (Post)
  3. Jenna Bush is going to teach the kids at Elsie Whitlow Stokes Community Freedom Public Charter School. Are charter schools exempt from the No Child Left Behind requirements? If not, then what a crappy father Jenna has. If he loved his daughter he'd tell her, "Darling, NCLB is specifically designed to make school teachers' lives a Kafkaesque nightmare of provisions and requirements that cannot be achieved." (Reliable Source)
  4. Also, if you had the feeling that Washington DC got a little hackneyed and overstuffed with visual piffery and whomping jump cuts, there's a reason: Joel Schumacher was here yesterday. (Reliable Source)
  5. Representative Jim Marshall (D-GA) has built a moveable soundproof wall for his office in the Cannon Building. The Hill reports that he has done so because he sleeps in his office and was having trouble dozing with all the noise in Cannon's cavernous halls, but the benefits cut both ways, as now late-night workers and the maintenance crew at Cannon will no longer have to be freaked out by Representative Marshall's night terrors. His terrifying screams, I have heard, can turn your blood to ice water. (The Hill)

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