Wednesday, December 01, 2004

While we were out.

Hi everybody. So we're back from New Jersey and we bring news of a disturbing trend. Apparently, the denizens of the Garden State--not typically known for tastemaking--have embraced a new and hopelessly tacky product--magnetic remembrance ribbons. Affixed on the rears of cars and trucks and vans, and resembling ginormous versions of the ribbons more appropriately worn on one's lapel, New Jerseyans have plastered their vehicles with these fugly monstrosities. And, typically, they've gone about it with the attitude, "Why have one ribbon, when you could have four?" These terrors are everywhere up there! Having been back a day or so, I am relieved that these magnetic ribbons are few and far between here in the DC area. KEEP IT THAT WAY! At last count, there are approximately 7,784,214 ways to support our troops and raise awareness for cancer research that don't involve bedecking your car with grotesque plastic geegaws. Pick one of them.

So for a sampling of what went on in our absence:

  • "Blog" became Merriam-Webster's word of the year! Hooray! It should be noted, that if profanity had been allowed, "blog" would have finished third behind "blogfucking" and "hot steaming bloggy cum." DCist also reports that Merriam-Webster specially cited "peloton" and "defenestration!" Defenestration is one of my favorite words (as well as a central plot point to The Accidental Death of an Anarchist), and Wife of Deceiver is obsessed with the word "peloton."
  • Unrequited Narcissism reports that the Arcade Fire are coming to play the Black Cat. Sweet! As long as they are coming here from Canada, and Bush is in Canada, maybe we could arrange a trade?
  • DC has finished second to Detroit as far what city boasts the most crime. This is not even including any or all Ron Artest-related mayhem.
  • Four of DC's finest bloggers--DCSOB, [information leafblower], Seeking Irony, and WeirdCurves--are uniting to challenge all comers for dance party supremacy. Their hootenanny, Bluestate, is coming to the Black Cat on January 8. This is only the beginning of these bloggers' plans to basically kick everyone's ass at everything ever. We have been told that on February 2, these four bloggers will again be at the Black Cat, only this time, they intend to "bake the most ass-slappingestly delicious cake the world has ever seen." Later, in March, using only inspiring speeches and trick plays they will invent themselves, these four bloggers plan on guiding the American University Men's Basketball Team to victory in the Patriot League tourney.
  • In other blogger news, DCSOB reports on the inactivity over at the much hyped DorkCity. (Hmmm. This situation reminds me of some other website...what was their name? It's right on the tip of my tongue...) Well, I guess they weren't in it to win it. When you squander Wonkette's love--my oh my, I just shudder at all that blogfucking effluvia puddled on the barren ground, fertilizing nothing. Maybe DCSOB could revive DorkCity's fortunes by publishing a series of needlessly vitriolic indictments!
  • DCist asks, "Who knew that that the University of the District of Columbia's official mascot was the Firebirds?" I did, guys. Send me an email next time. You guys have my email, right? Guys?
  • Here's a Hint and the blokes from local band The Pharmacy Prophets have had their differences in the past. But, as Ultragrrrl says, I want to B.L.O.G., my bitches, as in "Bring Love Online, Guys." So, how can we bring these two parties together? It just so happens that I know where there is some common ground between them--sexy Asian women. And for once, it involves no one from Exit Clov.


Here's a Hint said...

I would show up, as I do intend to revisit all my most-hated bands and see how they've fared in the past year, but alas, I cannot make it. I believe that Maggie Kim could be a fabulous disaster. Ah well.

Castor OiL said...

Maggie is many things for sure....

She just toured Korea on the South Korean government's dime, she madeover William Hung for STAR magazine, she writes for Vogue, she plays bass and she makes clothing out of electrical tape. Who says there are no more renaissance (wo)men?

nm said...

damn, i guess i better learn to bake by february 2... thanks for posting about bluestate. hope to see you there!

Anonymous said...

Maybe the ribbons are like the tomahawks on Florida State football helmets, or the tally-marks on the noses of World War I fighter planes: Every time you do a really good job of remembering the troops, other Jerseyites high-five you and you get another plastic ribbon. It is its own special patriotic "you da man!" from the Garden State.