Friday, January 14, 2005

Calling All Enthusiasts!!

JUNIPER LANE
Were it not for the fact that a couple of good friends chose this day many years ago as the day they decided to leave the nourishing uterine brine behind and join us in this troubled, troubled world, I'd be going to see Juniper Lane. We've touted them in this space before, and remind you that they are, as they say, totally awesome. Vivion Smith, bionically rebuilt after a rock-climbing accident, has got a crazy good voice and the band has been officially imbued with the power and the responsibilty of defeating the murderous robots from the future when they come for our sweet, sweet eyeball juice. Pay them heed and tribute at Iota this Saturday Night, unless you just can't tear yourself away from The Killers on SNL. In which case...you're kinda lame. (with De Nova Dahl, $10)

LEGAL OBSERVER TRAINING AND BRIEFING
It will be up to a few brave souls with legal skills to protect inaugural protestors from the DC Police, the infantile vileness of visiting Freepers, and their own sometime-dumbass selves. Do you have what it takes? Seriously. It takes a law degree. Do you have that? Sweet. Get your esquiring booty down to G-Dub's College of Law on January 19th and 20th for a training and briefing on how to keep us all out of trouble and out of the clink.

HATING BUSH COMES WITH RICH CULTURAL REWARDS (corrected info in red)
Inauguration Day comes with events far sweeter than the ones populated with rich morons who need Macy's salesgirls to tie their fucking bowties because they're all turnip root dimwits. Come on by the Casa del Pueblo (1459 Columbia Rd. NW, between 14th and 15th Sts. near the Columbia Heights Metro) for a counter-inaugural concerto featuring the likes of Anti-Flag, Q and not U, 1905 and Del Cielo. It's an all-ages, $5 benefit for Empower DC, brought to you by Positive Force Ministries and "hosted" by the Calvary Methodist Church and Rorschach Theatre. Or, if you hate Bush but, for some reason, hate music just as much, if not more, get in front of rapacious jokester Dave Attell, who'll be playing the Improv on Inauguration Night as part of a four-day DC visit.

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