Monday, January 03, 2005

DCember 2004: A Month of DCeption in Retrospect

So, we're not doing a 2004 wrap up this year. Not because we don't want to, but simply because The DCeiver had not trained it's cagey eye on the concerns of DCeption until late in the year, so, it just doesn't feel right. You should go read the other bloggers who have weighed in on the year thusly--we'd have to plagiarize them anyway.

As we begin this year, I'd be terribly remiss if I didn't encourage you to get your ass to the Black Cat this Saturday Night for the debut of the Bluestate DJ Collective--four of your favorite bloggers in delicious disguise. And they won't just be pitching their tawdry wares, they'll have swag galore for you to carry away with them, and one lucky ducky's gonna walk away with a signed copy of The Futureheads new album, tastefully named, "The Futureheads." And did we mention it's free? No. No we didn't. Would have been mildly amusing if we had, and then asked. But we didn't. The moment is gone.

The December Highlights include:

  • Harold Brazil: leaving the way he served, as a glad-handing, itchy-palmed douchebag.
  • We tongue-scourge the detestable Peter Marks, who spends your subscription dollars pitching for the away team, and yet New York City can't seem to produce anything half as good as say, A Midsummer Night's Dream at the House of Kahn.
  • We invent, and then join, the Ball Peen Hammer Wielding Community. DCeiver shall begin awarding monthly Ball Peen Hammer Awards in 2005. Of course, someone out there will have to remind me to do this.
  • Just when all seems lost, and you feel lonely and abandoned, and don't know how you'll ever find a way to wake up in the morning, salvation comes in the form of the Pixies, just like it always has.
  • The Sunday Source puts down their lovely fingerpaintings to tell the world how to blog. Entropy, they say, is inevitable.
  • We note again that Rob Goodspeed has never told NBC's Doreen Gentzler to "suck it." But, he later told me that he wouldn't mind having the opportunity to do so. Remember, that's a DCeiver EXCLUSIVE!
  • Shayna, our frequent tipster and future retainer, can now state two things about herself: 1) She is extremely ethical. 2) She is NOT a replicant.
  • ANSWER: Drop Cropp dot com. QUESTION: What happens when a left-leaning organization, fresh from getting beat like a drum in the national election, decides to forget all about the convention theme of "Two Americas" and standing up for the have-nots to keep them in the game against the "haves" and veers wildly, capriciously, and inanely off-message to stand in opposition to their former constituents to support the have-mores and have-everythings instead? There's a word to describe all those involved: pathetic. And, Amy, once, again, that's called: kicking your ass.
  • And this is called getting your ass kicked right back. Tony the Bowtiger seals the deal, brings the sorry-ass Expos to town, whose batters will be able to fashion bats from the thick, sturdy shafts wedged halfway up the rears of DC residents.
  • Lastly, in lieu of a year-end report, we'd simply like to leave you with my personal favorite DCeiver post of the past year: the much reviled "Snark Captain and the New Media of Tomorrow." We are so not sorry.

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