Tuesday, January 25, 2005

John Basedow, begin again...


Surf's up. Posted by Hello

If you are an area fan of fitness wunderkind John Basedow's local commercials, there's good news. Rumors of Mr. Basedow's demise have been greatly exaggerated. Apparently, he did not drown in the tsunami after all. According to the Fitness Made Simple website, Basedow has never even been to Thailand and was safe at home on the 26th of December.

One of the reasons the false story has not been quelched effectively is a webmastering issue--the "Important Notice" regarding Basedow's continued washboard health is embedded as an image, which does not make for friendly relationships between this information and the darling web-crawlers from Googs.

Someone at FMS ought to fix that up so that the truth about Basedow could get some more play. Additionally, would this be a good moment to come out with "Fitness Made Slightly More Complicated Owing to the Need to Retain a Small Portion of Body Fat for the Purpose of Buoyancy"?

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

While I admire your ambition in seeking the presidency of the John Basedow fan club, I must question your sexuality as well as your sanity in making this decision. I am not sure if you are aware that the international sign of homosexuality is an upside down purple triangle. I must point out that this is the same symbol (albeit inverted for marketing reasons)which appears on every advertisement I have ever seen of this flamboyant project that your beloved closet homosexual leader has embarked upon. I cant believe that you or anyone else would want to emulate or even resemble that disgusting and twisted facist bastard that whores out his body and dignity in order to swindle fat americans into giving him their hard earned money. Money that could be buying what they really want, more food. I agree that America is too fat as a whole, but I believe that everyone has enough common sense to know that cardiovascular exercise and proper diet are the keys to weight loss. In short Fuck Off. And Fuck John Basedow and all of his blind followers being tricked by a Faggot conning them out of their money. You can all burn in HELL.

The Deceiver said...

Dude, you lost me at "ambition in seeking the presidency of the John Basedow fan club." You have me confused with someone else. Maybe that's because you are a stupid stupid stupid pencildick motherfucker. According to sources, anyway.

Anonymous said...

Im sorry to confuse you. It turns out your sexuality isnt the only thing your confused about. I know this is a complete wasste of time but my god what kind of homo starts a Jon Basedow fan club you are a fucking loser. I suggest your end your own life quietly in a cave somewhere.

The Deceiver said...

You want to know who would start a John Basedow fan club? Well, why don't you ask someone else, shithead? Because I didn't start a fan club.

Basedow's commercials run in Washington ALL THE FUCKING TIME and I was merely commenting on the debunking of a urban legend. It was probably the only mention of Basedow I've ever made, and if you weren't such a fucktard, you'd look around the rest of this blog and see that for yourself.

So, take your gripe and your ugly, worthless, retarded ass out of here, you dumb piece of of shit, before I take it out of here for you.

Bitch.

Anonymous said...

Some need to follow, And some feel thay are stonger and have a handle on thing's, And show more anger than compasion.

Can't we all just get along ;)

Anonymous said...

John Basedow is an inspiration to the world. All OF US IN China love him.

CHING CHONG CHOW

Anonymous said...

Can you really believe FMS website? I cant find any personel appearances in 2005 with John Basedow. A fitness celebrity certainly would appear on a mourning tv show somewhere. I'm not totally convinced he's alive.

Anonymous said...

Look at the FMS website. They have a picture of him with a woman and at the top of the photo it says "Star of the month 2006" now look at the pictures from Johns "first" annex seminar, they are taken at the same time. You would say "last years" if the photos were taken last year. Why would they use an older photo from his first appearance and and slap star of the month 2006 over it? It seems unusual for someone who obviously craves attention would have a shortage of recent photos. The truth will come out, or he will come out (of the closet).

Anonymous said...

F

J.B. said...

I don't know about you guys, but that John Basedow is a bowl of steaming man-chowder! Everytime I see Basedow's spectacular ads on cable, I can't avert my gaze from his glistening pecs and flawless haircut. The only thing more chiselled than his rock-hard abs is his jaw. Sometimes I stay up and tape the ad when it's on, so I can make an enormous, throbbing, 3 hour Basedow fest for my own use. Oh yeah, and the song is awesome! I've ordered it from Basedow's website. Apparently it has 3 versions. 1) the original, 2) a vocal mix with Basedow himself and 3) a Tiefshcwarz Black Strobe remix for the club. All the guys at my local club love it when we drop that one! Has anyone got the latest Basedow newsletter? I've moved houses so my subscribtion hasn't been re-directed. I got a free life-size Basedow FatHead for my wall! Mmm... Basedow. He'll show you how... to reach your potential - for massive-pecced, skinny necked, rock hard sexiness! - Check out this fansite for further amazing Basedow related info. Later! - JB
www.iwantjohnbasedowinsideme.com

Anonymous said...

"John Basedow is the most depressing looking human i ever seen. he trully is a frosted hair goof.i wish i new were that bridge was at that pickle park on his homo commercials were he is trying to pull his pants down.he needs a hospitalized beatin really bad!i want to join the John Basedow fan club.i own a mirror to is that good enuff to be in the club

John said...

John Basedow looks like a lion that's been on a vegetarian diet. I don't know why anyone would want to look like that sickly bastard. Here a link to a funny comic about him...

http://www.strangerrandy.com/images/Fitness%20Made%20Simple.html