Thursday, February 03, 2005

DCeptette: Not if you were the last Mayor-Councilman on Earth version

  1. "Mayor-Councilman" Barry has been ordered to pay his debt to ex-campaign manager Dion Jordan by the DC Superior Court. After a long and illustrious career at the trough of DC taxpayers, aren't you surprised that Barry doesn't simply receive a weekly Schedule of Garmishments as a opposed to an actual check? (Post)
  2. A Fairfax County School Board member, Stephen M. Hunt, has sent a letter to the county's principals urging against the promotion of the "homosexual lifestyle." Area gays respond: "Don't make us take the butt-fucking to Sterling, 'cause we'll totally do it." (Post)
  3. DC Craigslister is looking for a lute player to perform at wedding. The DCeiver totally will ask around the next time he visits ancient fucking Greece. (Craigslist)
  4. Someone asked the DCeiver what he thought of Tucker Carlson leaving DC. Hey, look, I flush my toilet every time I use it. I don't stand there, lingering over the bowl getting all sentimental and shit. So, in the same way, I'm ready for Tucker to move on. If you were wondering if Tucker would be punished at all for the many years spent "hurting America", keep in mind that he's moving to that capital of despicable white people--Seacaucus, New Jersey. Really. I couldn't devise a worse punishment. See you on Bloomfield Avenue, assclown! (DCist)
  5. Great news taxpayers! It turns out that even if you HAD stopped the baseball boondoggle, you would still have gotten fucked by the city, who spent $500,000 paying consultants to sell baseball to you in the first place! It goes to show that Tony Williams knew that the stadium deal was a festering turd from jump, but you should also put things in perspective--the shaft was lodged from Day One, so there really was nothing else to do but to follow Bobby Knight's old advice and lie back and try to enjoy it. (WTOP)

No comments: