Wednesday, February 02, 2005

If you had the funny feeling today that your heterosexual marriage got slightly stronger for some reason...

...maybe it's because of the stupid "Traditional Marriage" license plates the Virginia House of Delegates approved of yesterday! First off, let me say this: Virginia House of Delegates, you had better have previously solved all past, pending and future problems within the Commonwealth of Virginia before you turned your attention to commemorative license plates. Life for Virginia had better be idyllic and perfect, and everyone had better be so damn slaphappy with how awesome their life is that you could suck saccharine right off of their foreheads. Here's why: you are given the job of doing the people's business and serving the citizens of Virginia. If you left a problem unsolved to mess about with a loopy, frivolous matter like a license plate that celebrates the awesome power of a cock conjoined with a cooter, then all of you need to be drowned like crippled cats in the James River until you are quite simply dead.

It's really pathetic the way lawmakers think--their brains simply do not work in the same way of normal human beings! They sense that "marriage" is in some sort of trouble, and surmise that it's all the fault of gays. Yes, surely it's the homos, and not simply dickish, asswipe people that shouldn't get married that's the problem. And their "cure" for the "problem?" A fucking licence plate! These people, like the inventor of the plate idea, L. Scott Lingamfelter, are so pathetically orphaned from anything resembling good sense that I realize now that it's a good thing they have this "job"--Virginia Delegate--to do. Otherwise, what possible trade would a dimwit like L. Scott Lingamfelter ply in order to earn an honest living. What conversation could you or I have with a person like Lingamfelter--we, who habituate within the confines of the Real World, while the Delegate waddles around his own strange fantasyland? No, it's best that Virginia provides a taxpayer funded Romper Room for these perpetually stunted children to play in.

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