Thursday, February 03, 2005

My Open Letter to L. Scott Lingamfelter

Dear Delegate Lingamfelter--

Thank you for taking the initiative on the "traditional marriage" celebrating license plates. My marriage, I felt, was strong enough, seeing as it was endorsed by the State of Virginia and upheld by the many people who attended my wedding and who dedicated themselves as witnesses to my nuptials, but, I suppose, seeing that you probably had nothing better to do anyway, the license plates will help a lot. Now, as I crawl up I-95 or endure another hour on the Dulles Toll Road, I will, perchance, see one of these "traditional marriage" plates and receive a swelling of civic pride as it reminds me that my right to move quickly, strike, and penetrate a vagina shall not be abridged. Indeed, no government shall rip my cock from its purchase, slamming deep within that poontie.

Yet even as I experienced these patriotic thoughts, I wondered what would become of my wife's dildo, escpecially now that I was going to be spending a lot more time publicly serving her hot box. What would we do with it? It would be such a shame if it fell into total disuse?

See, Mr. Lingamfelter, that's when you inspired me AGAIN! I know that no Virginia dildo shall ever be without purpose! Why, they can simply follow in your footsteps and run for the Virginia House of Delegates! Oh frabjous day! Calloo, callay!

Thanks a lot, dildohead!

Your pal,

The DCeiver

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