Thursday, February 24, 2005

Translating the Played Out Gurus, an Ongoing Chronicle of the Quixotic Gogblog: Neko was the case that they gave me.

I know full well that wading back in to the world of the Going Going Gurus could subject me to world of hurt at the hands of their vocal and dimwitted crybaby street team, I think there's a lot to say about the first week or so of the GogBlog's existence.

In the first place, so much for all the sweaty-palmed backpedalin'. After first insisting that it was stupid--STUPID--to suggest that they were wrongheaded and defensive for taking down their post on indie-rocker Neko Case, they left us with the promise that it would be archived. So far, it hasn't happened. Now, we know that the Goos just are just too, you know, superkeen, to have anything to do with any established blogger style sheets. These guys are all about breakin' roolz, dood! But, um, you guys did promise. So, if for no other reason than it entertains me, and adds to My Enjoyment, I request that the GogBlog monkeys dance for me, and archive that post.

Now, here's the good news. The good news is that one of the Going Out Gurus has distinguished herself by suggesting activities that are actually interesting, specific experiences that she talks about with great facility and enthusiasm, leading me to believe that she does a little bit more than read press releases and troll in DCist's mighty Jen Chung-sponsored wake. I am of course speaking of Maura McCarthy, who yesterday singled out the Max Hirshfeld/Elliot Elisofon exhibit at Hemphill Fine Arts. She's only posted one other time, but she seems to be uniquely aware of the "quality, not quantity" maxim. Maura...break away, dear. Start your own blog. You're a dose of poetry amid the woefully prosaic.

We also wouldn't have expected a Going Out Guru to suggest stopping by the Freer Gallery to see Sam Fuller movies...not when the last movie suggestion they made was "DUH! Constantine sucks. Me likey Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey because the late '80s were the best daze of my life." Also, points for accuracy, The Steel Helmet and Fixed Bayonets are not available on Netflix. (If you go to see Fixed Bayonets by the way, keep your eyes open for an uncredited performance by James Dean.)

So, that's the good news. Here's the rest:

  1. My belief: the very existence of DCist makes the GogBlog at best redundant, at worst irrelevant. Case in point: Gog, trolling in DCist's wake, reports on the opening of the Elephant and Castle a day after DCist. Umm, is there anyone out there that wasn't simply re-informed? Didn't think so.
  2. Breaking news: Apparently, there are indeed things called seasons! Wow. They really scooped the Sunday Source on this one!
  3. Sad news. Jazz performer extraordinare Pam Bricker commits suicide. Gog says: "It pains us greatly to inform our readership" of this news. Maybe it would have been less painful if you had saved yourself the time of writing a blog post and just sent an email to the five people that comprise your "readership."
  4. Hey, guys! Don't forget to take this post down!
  5. So it's Friday. The start of a whole, long, three-day weekend. And the only suggestion you have is that I go out and have one drink? Where do you "Go Out" from Fritz, a freakin' monastery. Sheesh.
  6. Now this is where rebelling against the blog style sheet just seems kind of stupid. On the first paragraph of this post, you'll have to remove the third sentence on May 1, and the fifth sentence requires you to redact three clauses on three different dates! Rebel against the blogosphere's totally passe "just leave the posts up there" all you want, but it just seems like you're creating more work for yourself in your whole "we take outdated stuff down" regime than you need to. And by the way: while you may think Fantasia should be sainted for keeping her concert tickets under $40, I'd be more inclined to recommend her canonization if one of you chuckleheads can tell me where I can find the $28-off-coupons.
  7. Okay, Alexa. Nice post on gelato. Now let's see where the exact moment your target demographic collectively shrugged and gave up on you: "Later that night, as I was sitting down to Larry King..." Yes! That was the clause, right there.

By the way: ironically enough, a Google Search for "DC blogs AND indie rock" currently yields the Goos as the number one choice. Ha ha! You become what you most abhor!

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