Tuesday, March 22, 2005

The DCeiver returns from Spring Break

What up, peoples! Let me get things started off by just saying, if I am ever in some sort of persistent vegetative state, KILL MY ASS DEAD PLEASE. Good sweet Jeebus, I don't ever, EVER want Tom DeLay parading around in front of cameras talking as if he thinks he knows what's best for me. Tom, if you're listening, my life would have a lot more precious sanctity if you would nail yourself in the face seventeen times with a ball peen hammer. Could you do God's work, jackass, and get right on that? And put it on video and send it to me so me and the Virgin Mary can get our jollies? Thanks, nimrod. Ever so.

Yeah, a five day break was just what I needed to rest and recoup. First off, big old thanks to the men and women of Bluestate, who got my spring vacation off to a great start Wednesday night. It was a real pleasure to meet all of the minds behind it and four of the best damn blogs around. For real, you guys, meeting you all for the first time was even nicer than I could have imagined. Everyone was very warm, friendly, and had great tunes to play. And beyond all that, it was just a real pleasure conversating with all of you--as well as the great folks from Zunta and DCist.

My bracket? Busted up beyond all recognition. Everything was proceeding sort of as planned, but ti was those last two Friday shifts that put me in traction. First off, it's clear that I transferred all of the irrational exuberance I usually assign to UVA onto GWU. Took the Colonials to the Elite Eight. Ouch. But the evening wasn't done. Vermont knocks 'Cuse flat on their back--G Mac played one of his worst games in college, and I had to reckon with myself afterwards--Coppenrath was such a baller that I should have figured he wasn't gonna matriculate until he had notched a tourney win. With some players, it's just destiny--hell, with some teams. I saw that shot Sorrentine took to all but seal the deal, was that a long range three or what? He shot that from Howard Dean's driveway! And even though I could ill afford to lose Kansas, I couldn't not pace my living room shouting and cheering like a freak as Bucknell won the first ever tourney match for the Patriot League. Feinstein came so hard when the clock hit all-zeroes that it'll be till September before his spermatazoa is replenished.

I hear you, randomly commenting NC State fan. Julius Hodge, who's one of thsoe players that just seems to have eight years of eligibility, played awesome this weekend. NC State looked solid against UConn, even when the game was tight and the score was close. State's got some freshman kid who just submitted his body and mind for a beating and just kept coming up with play after play. The Wolfpack's coming on, and I hope they go far. I love their style of ball.

They'll at least go farther than Wake, who were, sadly, my pick to win it all. Foolish, foolish me. I stood transfixed, staring at the TV screen at Bedrock Billiards, watching that double-overtime heart attack play out in savage slow motion. Hey, Skip Prosser? Take a memo, baby. You are allowed to do this thing in basketball called DEFENDING. You ever hear of the practice? Well, legend has it that playing defense can actually help to lower your opponent's shooting percentage, and that preventing their shots from falling can actually keep them from scoring many, many points. I'm sure there's a good library somewhere in Winston-Salem. Maybe you can look it up in a book about basketball. I'm only saying this because it really looked as if you were under the mistaken impression that your team was just somehow obligated to let West Virginia take all the wide open three point shots they wanted. Just maybe, if you want to continue in this career of basketball coaching, adding this "defense" to your repertoire...it could be helpful. I'm just sayin'.

At any rate, it was a good Spring Break. I met some new friends, played with some old friends, watched some great hoops, got a guided tour of the toppings bar at Amsterdam Falafelshop (mmmmm...pickled turnips), and I turned the IRS loose on some motherfuckers that haven't ponied up a 1099 yet. And I didn't read a single blog for five days. Tasty. We resume the comical airing of grievances and suggestions for better living tomorrow. Right now, I have to catch up on a bunch of blogs I didn't read. Cakelove, bitches!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Julius Hodge is the not only "the human pipe cleaner", but the most popular theatre arts major in NC, let alone NC State. Brackman has a mean fastball, can shoot the 3, and dribble with the palest skin and worst haircut in the ACC. This dude was born to take a beating. He's from Cincinnati. Football was out of the question. Just let Julius Hodge get by Wisconsin cuz' you know who they playin' next. Edgan and Ilian ain't messin' and their European ball skills and the princeton system come one come all to Herb's coming out party. Hosted by Julius Hodge the best Othello, Sidney Poitier, "In the heat of the night", Training Day, Crossdressing Monsters Ball, Tiki Barber wannabe. NBA 1st rounder??????????????????????

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

The Deceiver said...

What up, Z. Now that pops IDed you, thi is going to be more fun.

Julius Hodge an NBA first rounder? Probs, shoulds, but not a high pick I don't think. Lottery motherfuckers are gonna look at him and say: "Wow. I saw HOTEL RWANDA. You were fantastic." Maybe no one recognizes him for hanging Ocean's 12 and a henhouse full of RB's on a nightly basis. I, of course, hopes he falls to the Wizznutz, who don't play in the MCI Center--they play in the Gilbert Arena. Holla at that.

nm said...

it was awesome to meet you, DCeiver. hope to see you again at the black cat on april 16, and meet wife of DCeiver as well.