Friday, March 11, 2005

DCeptette: Some things you do in the city version

  1. It's not clear whether the kidnapping was prompted by simple MSM on blog lust or whether the order came directly from Mark Halperin, whose diabolical plan to beam The Note directly into our brains using lasers and humpback whales would have no doubt been roundly mocked on Wonkette, but Ana Marie Cox is shown in the Wall Street Journal as alive and well after being abducted and fake-tanned nearly to death. She is back at her outpost at Murky Coffee, no doubt rueing the disappearance of the delicious foccacia sandwiches that the previous owners sold. (WSJ)
  2. "You said that irony was the shackles of youth." No. Irony is the necklacing of you. Courage! (DCist)
  3. Okay. How happy am I right now? As of this moment, the Maryland Terrapins basketball season is over. It came so early this year! I haven't even bought the bottle of special something I crack open at the precise moment the Terps season ends! That's the first part of the good news. But the best part of the good news--and trust me, I am aware of the nature of longshots--is that another team will wake up on Friday morning alive. I feel like dropping the needle on this!
  4. It's no surprise that Tony William's mom wants him to run again! She always gets to sing at public events because of her bow-tied little prince! Who wants to stop the caterwauling? Well, Adrian Fenty, among others. About Fenty, Williams said: "There ought to be some threshold qualifications that you bring to the table." It's funny to hear a man whose own stultifying arrogance and inevitable subcompetence kept him off his own party's primary ballot last time out call out someone else on "threshold qualifications." Motherfucker must mean he stood on a whole bunch of motherfucking thresholds as he walked throughout DC, teaching motherfucking voters to spell his motherfucking name, because motherfucker was too motherfucking dimwitted to cross the threshold of not having to run a write in campaign as a motherfucking incumbent! (Post)
  5. Oooh, sweet! It's panda porn season. The hormone levels in Mei Xiang are just about right to start the mating process with Tian Tian! Jen Chung, holladown at me if you want me to score some screencaps, Paris Hilton steez. Can't promise you anything, though, because, as reported: "Once Mei Xiang has peaked, they plan to close the panda exhibit and take the animals inside." That makes sense. I know that once Wife Of DCeiver's "Mei Xiang" is peaking, I like to hit that up with my own "Tian Tian". (WTOP)

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