Thursday, March 10, 2005

DCeptette: Your German Boyfriend Has a Huge Krauthammer version

  1. Oh, Chucky. I still get nostalgic when I think about some of the columns you wrote during the Elian Gonzalez affair, where you basically would toss out whole reams of U.S. Law because you people pander to the Cuban-American loon community as if they were effing royalty, while a Haitian in the same sitch? Lord knows you wouldn't have much use for that kid beyond maybe shooting skeet. I read the latest, and man, it seems like old times. I am trying, Chucky, to see the world from your point of view, but in order for me to do that, you're gonna have to clear out some room for me so's I can get my head wedged up your ass alongside yours! Don't worry, though, I come ribbed for your pleasure. Now, go psychoanalyze that, shrinky-dink. (Newshounds, via Unrequited Narcissism)
  2. As for Bluestate, DCeiver is so there, because it's shrewdly positioned of the night before the NCTwoA Mens Basketball Orgy commences, and y'alls know I aint working on the first two days of the 64gy, naturellement. So I'll be allowing DC's finest music bloggers to hold my tender ears hostage. But what would a hostage crisis be without a little Stockholm Syndrome? If Seeking Irony makes good on her threat to drop her Fjord Fiesta, this Swede's gonna be shouting "Sven-golly!" You folks should prepare to make a date with Ikea. (Seeking Irony)
  3. Why does it seem that half of the people hired to work in the DC Government have dodgy resumes? Now it's time for 911 Communications Center Director E. Michael Latessa to take a turn in the bad references whirligig. A former boss, Terry Dillon, says of Latessa: "I have no use for the man, I met with employees about a week after I fired him to tell them my reasons. They gave me a standing ovation and lined up outside as I went to my car to shake my hand." To be fair, the ovations and handshakes probably had less to do with his explanations vis-a-via Latessa and more to do with the fact that Dillon concludes every staff meeting with his own breathtaking version of "Sexual Healing." (Twatty Twat for Twats)
  4. Now here's something that I was excited about while it was being put together, and wanted to have some nice things to say about. Honest. But the Six Points Music Festival is, how to put it, bursting at the non-seams with an abundance of buzzlessness. First off, the bands that have been selected are a rogue's gallery of who-dats and seriously-who-de-fuck-is-dats. Just a stunning lack of acts with any real recognition, these lineups, with an occasional exception, are as anonymous as any gig listing at the Snappy Snack Shack in Wilkes-Barre. Second, many of the venues are similarly possessed with I-could-care-less. The Austin Grill in Silver Spring? Ragtime? There's a Six Points gig at a place called the Royal Lee, which I am all but certain doesn't really exist. I imagine that if I stood in front of this place my eyes would go right through it! And I thought this was supposed to be about Arlington! Hey Velvet Lounge, Staccato, and Madams Organ...welcome to Arlington! Enjoy the voting! I am really scratching my head over this. (Six Points)
  5. Huh? Blogspot went kee-ray-zee or something. Sorry. Go to the DCist Happy Hour tomorrow! Schnell! Schnell! (DCist)


nm said...

are there any sounds from your homeland you're particulary looking forward to hearing? let me know, maybe i can accomodate a pre-request. i hope i get my t-shirt in time!

The Deceiver said...

You mean aside from any dope Jay-Z/Roxette mashups?