[Original design by the Diner Media Empire]
You know I've been pimping this show. You know that you deserve a great night listening to Brice and Paul and the Park Police do they thing thang. You know that the cuddly folks at the Velvet Lounge want to show you a good time. But did you know how far we'd go?
This is how far. The cover charge, for your lonesome ass, is six dollars. You see that. You note that. That's a pretty good deal, right there. But fuck it, we can do better. You round up three friends and come tonight, and all four of you get in for just six dollars. As in:
One person: Six Dolla
Two peeps: Twelve bucks
A troika: Eighteen barely legal units of legal tender
Rolling four-style: SIX DAMN DOLLARS.
See, you need to step into Pure Enjoyment Country, and you can't do that without some chums to share your intimate musical life experiences with. We've scientifically determined that four is the perfect number. Like four square. The Audi Quattro. Four years of college. Four on the floor. Did you know that n Japan, four is an unlucky number? That's why all four Iron Chefs are never on the show at the same time! But you aren't Japanese, are you! Of course you aren't. And if you are, stop being so damned superstitious.
But what if you know only two other people? God. Quit being such a pussy! Meet someone today, and bring them. Cover their $1.50 if they seem skittish. And no, you don't get a special break if you are a group of five. Well. Four of you do. The other--no. But that's only because no one trusts groups of five--I hate the way they can form pentagrams or run a slick half-court high screen and roll combination--and I especially do not trust the way that multiplying by them always yields a number that ends in a five or a zero. Not for me, sir!
Look, we're all about friends here. Everyone has a buddy that's always a little skint. Here's an opportunity to drag him or her out for a nice evening of live rock and adult social situations. So grab a handbill from Tryst or Crooked Beat, or just print this blog entry off and come with your best mates and work a nice mid-week discount, hear some good tunes, and maybe admonish the DCeiver to stop hurting people with words.