Friday, April 22, 2005

Deep inside 930 Forum headquarters...


"We're basically unemployable," brags GGW, preparing another seven comments about how poorly he's been mistreated.

We have discovered their credo. (The Phat Phree, via just about everybody)

Actually, we'd like to make commenting easier for the Anonnieheads who are angry at The DCeiver, so we've broken down their chief gripes and assigned a numerical code. Now, if you want to comment, but find the process of hunting and pecking for the correct vowel combinations or waiting for your mom to call and tell you how the Caps Lock key works too time consuming, just use one of the numeric codes and get back to jerking it.

001="Get a life. Similar to the great one I have."
002="No one reads your blog, except me. I can't stop myself! Help me!"
003="My brain stopped working last October, and I think you're Here's a Hint. You coward! You, rich, sexy coward!"
004="Blargh! What--? How--? No!!! Gurgle gurgle. *Peep*"
005="You think you're so great. Well you aren't. Neener-neener."
006="Your steady readership and occasional praise is a constant source of sickness to me, but then, I am extremely needy."
007="Need proof that you're pathetic? Think about it: I"m the one telling you. And I'm pathetic. Now that's pathetic."
008="That's it! I am ignoring you! How do you like that? Hey! I'm talking to you! Can't deal with my silence, can you? I'm talking to you!"
009="You dirty DCist bastard."
010="LOUD NOISES!"


Now, when you comment, just type in the number of the comment that most closely matches your current state of witlessness. Then send. Soon, you'll find you've saved so much time that you'll finally be able to take that bath you've been putting off since last fall.

I'll be happy to add additional comment codes just as soon as you come up with something different to say--and when I'm fully confident you're ready to take on the concept of "eleven."

You can thank me later.

4 comments:

Here's a Hint said...

Hey, my blog goes to 11.

The Deceiver said...

Your blog goes to 12, my friend.

Mine hovers around 7.2.

Blue Fish, Red Pond said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Blue Fish, Red Pond said...

Apropos of (nearly) nothing, that Phat Phree essay was hilarious