Thursday, April 14, 2005

Sickeningly Good.

Castor Oil gets a chorale of "Amen!" from me w/r/t one of his latest rants. Peep it here. And let me just quote the salient part:

Me: Hello?

Fred: Hello Sir, this is Fred from the Friends of John Kerry.

Me: Oh you have to be fucking kidding me.

Fred: Sir, as a loyal friend of Senator Kerry...

Me: Hey Fred, listen closely for a second OK.

Fred: Sir?....I'm calling...

Me: Fred, stop and listen to me, OK?

Fred: Sure sir, go right ahead.

Me: Fred you just called me and woke up my sleeping baby daughter presumably to ask for more of my money to give to a guy that's married to a billionaire and that I watched mount the most inexcusably inept and pathetic Presidential campaign imaginable. You people with millions and millions of dollars, some of them mine, couldn't figure out how to beat a half-witted charlatan that had launched this country into a war over nothing--NOTHING FRED--..N-O-T-H-I-N-G?..NOTHING!!!!!!! The economy was in the shitter, the deficits were off the charts, we had a flu epidemic, the President made a complete and total asshole out of himself on nation-wide television, our soldiers were being blown up all over Iraq and our citizens were getting their heads chopped off on the evening news because of this shitwit and you still managed to let him beat you. Five months later his approval rating is in the 40s,
Fred, in the 40s and he still beat "my friend" John, and by complicity, you Fred. He beat you and now you ask me for more cash. For what? To do what? What
the fuck are you going to do with it? YOU LOST DON'T YOU REALIZE THAT FRED!!!!!! It's amazing, really, the heights of stupidity that y'all hit. So do me a favor Fred, tell my friend John to take me off his calling list and that the next time he needs money he can go fuck himself and his hagged out wife with a bottle of Heinz 57 sauce.

Fred: Sir that kind of attititude is really unnecessary.

Me: No Fred, that kind of attitude was and still is totally necessary. You just don't realize it and that's why you are where you are and unfortunately me and the rest of the country are right there with you. Now fuck right off.

Sweet. This reminds me of a conversation I had circa August 2004, with a kid on L Street or K Street--I forget--hitting up passersby for Kerry.

Dude: Excuse me sir, would you like to contribute to the Kerry campaign?

DCeiver: Indeed I would, dude. Tell me, how soon can you get me into the next meeting of his inner sanctum?

Dude: (laughs) Oh, ha ha. Well, I don't know about that.

DCeiver: Well, that's too bad, dude--can I call you "dude?" Good. Because here's the thing. I can offer you something more valuable than money. I can offer you my time and intelligence. Right now, that's what you need the most, dude. See, I would totally LIKE to give you money. Believe me, I would. That would be so easy, and I
like easy. But here's the rub, dude. You guys don't give me the faith that my money will be put to good use. I give the Kerry Campaign money, I might as well be setting it on fire.

Dude: Well, I'm sorry you feel that way.

DCeiver: Ha! Not half as sorry as I am for feeling that way!


Anonymous said...

Wow. That was only slightly less pathetic than the first post. Angry Democr--errr, I mean liberals. Conservatives in D.C. at least throw out a bunch of facts and numbers when they get pissed off. Liberabls mostly just whine and bitch like 8-yr-old girls. Sad. The radical Islamists would love these guys at 1600 Penn. Ave.

Anonymous said...

Yeah! Cause numbers make everything better! And obviously, the way to not be pathetic is to spinelessly give money to whatever crappy candidate is out there! That's what you'd do, isn't it?

Jason said...

It takes a special kind of hypocrite to brag about how they include facts and numbers and then proceed to not say anything meaningful or include a single fact or number. But, since you can't be bothered with leaving a name, I guess why bother with any facts, right?
As for the radical islamists, do you really believe they think there's much difference between us, or is that too subtle of a shade of gray for you to grasp?

choff said...

I'm in total agreement with DCeiver: I'm done giving my money away. And the Kerry dipshits who pounded on my door last summer--after months of my money touring unguided into Kerry's campaign war chest--would not stop arguing with me after being told "No mas!" numerous times. Never again.

Anonymous said...

Why does the Kerry campaign, or did they EVER ask for money? His wife said in the press that she would open her purse strings.

Anonymous said...

They called me too - I hung up - didn't want to waste my time telling them what they should already know - what a bunch of losers.

What in the world do they need money for? To run a campaign in '08 ???

If Kerry runs he'll be laughed off the stage. What a loser.

puck freek said...

suporting Kerry is and was suicide by ballot,as Charles Cutter put it back in November. I put it like this:
Kerry took a dive. He played the part of an active participant, and then went out on the field and fell flat on his botox-enhanced face. It appeared to be a real contest, with a winner and a damn sure loser. A real man, Kerry admitted defeat and promptly headed off on his next vacation .
The winners thanked him for a brilliant, believable performance. And his bipartisan-shipness. Winners like team players, fall guys, losers and suckers. Kerry was all of them.