Thursday, May 19, 2005

DCeptette: I sure hope the proper citing of sources wasn't part of the audition version

  1. DC Actor Karl Miller is plying his trade in Alaska at the awesomely named Perseverance Theatre, performing columbinus. He's also blogging in the kick ass manner in which he also acts. We're so down with his take on Eddie Albee--can I get a chant of "OVER-RATED!" from the crowd, Cameron Indoor steez, please? To my mind, his best play is now a de facto museum piece stunted by the soggy mores of the era in which it was written and most of the rest of his offerings are an ill wind that tickles only the nostrils of pretentious literati wannabes. Granted, I'm biased. Albee and I have tangled before--twas actually foretold in a dream I had (so not making that up)--and he emerged the victor. Bittercakes, I? Sure. But in the morning, I'll be sober while he'll still be overrated. And a complete horse's ass, 2 booty. More to the point, though, Karl marks:
    "It's time to sandblast the quotation marks from every New Yorker's speech balloon. It's time to burn Artaud at the stake and see if he signals through the flames. And the next time some jerkoff with a mail-order MFA wants to do Hedda Gabler on Mars, we will lock him in Denny's restaurant with nothing but a pen, paper, and all the buffalo chicken strips he wants. He will not be allowed out until he was written something that in no way resembles Hedda Gabler. We must punish every stage-side shrug with rotten tomatoes. We will stalk the deconstructionists until they can't sleep at night, sneak into their garages and reassemble the statues they shattered. We will make every scene shifting Wannabe earn their pass at time travel by stapling together the latest non-linear mindfuck into its original form and tattoo the words "OBEY NATURE TO COMMAND IT" backwards on their foreheads so the next time they get lost in their own iris trying to find the meaning of life, they'll consider living as a possible method of discovery."
    Word. One question, though, Karl: I have to hear about your blog from Theaterboy? Sheesh. You never call, you never write. I'm beginning to think you won't be asking me to the Homecoming dance! (Juneau What I'm Sayin'?)
  2. Here's a fleeting glimpse into DC Bachelors future. (Craigslist)
  3. More MP Galloway goodness. Yeah, we're still swoony. Mr. Galloway had us at "cock a hoop", but we still appreciate his levelling of Chris "Alone at the Ahmed Chalabi Fan Club Meetup" Hitchens: "You're a drink-soaked former Trotskyist popinjay. Your hands are shaking. You badly need another drink." I am so totally into this guy! (Guardian, via Wonkette)
  4. Representative Jim Moran says that the airplane scare of last week was "helpful" in clarifying emergency procedures, will introduce the "Hey Ladies, Take Cover In My Pants" Act of 2005 next week. (The Hill)
  5. Quoth Malkin: "Hey, remember when The Nation magazine ran this tasteless anti-Bush take-off of Goya's Saturn Devouring one of his Children last summer? The Left cheered the bloody cannibalism imagery as inspired and profound." Actually Michelle, if you had actually read The Nation, as I did, you would have noted that it's lefty leadership overwhelmingly decried the Goya parody as tasteless and inappropriate. That's just the difference between you and I, I guess. I know, whereas you totally make shit up. But in fairness, I loved the parody myself. It's Okay When You're The DCeiver. (Somewhere between Loonypoon and a cry for mommy.)

1 comment:

roosh said...

uh future? i already do that at target... weekdays 7-9pm has the hotties, lonely and looking for love