Monday, May 16, 2005

DCeptette: Lock up your daughter's pastries version

  1. Okay. Last night, when Homer called Bush "Commander Cuckoo Bananas", I just about lost my shit. Laughing. So hard. So much laughter that I had to pause my Tivo to get it all out my system. It wasn't until about an hour later that I realized: I don't own a Tivo, and had actually blacked out.
  2. We've totally hearted Sabrina Audrey Jess for a while. Respectcakes, yo. But now that we know that she's going to attend the finest acting program in the country, well...words fail us. Even with three first names, you rock. Go see Sabrina's play get read tonight at the Human Right Campaign building at 17th and Rhode Island, NW. And when you get to VCU, Sabrina, forge an alliance with Janet, and don't take any shit from David. (Post)
  3. Who goes to the Cheesecake Factory to eat a salad? Maybe he didn't notice you because he was too busy goggling at his mesculin greens glazed with braised lard served inside a sheep's innard and covered in slabs of Monterey Jack cheese. (Craigslist)
  4. DCBachelor stresses the need to develop a "sexual gimmick." We were able to surmise from this picture, elsewhere on his blog, what DCB's is--you can see the well-worn crevasse where he brutalized this banana bread with his cock. Kinda like a wet sponge indeed. And the "synergistic ingredient", he says, were his walnuts! Mmmm. Cracky, dampen goodness!
  5. Adam Eidinger rides his white horse to Banbury Cross in protest of Metro train-wrap advertisements. "Once this get going," he squeals,"the distinct look of our Metro will be lost forever..." What? Not our distinct look! The one that uses both gray and grey and is punctuated with dark brown? That one? Oh, no! He also says: "The nation's capital deserves better. We already have one of the best Metro systems in the country." Bet you he's wishing he didn't put those two sentences together, huh? (DC Metro Action)

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