Wednesday, June 15, 2005

UPDATED:Jessica Cutler at Olsson's: you (maybe) got served!


Wow. That "good-esque authority" turned out to be right! Mike Grass, you magnificent BASTARD! A woot is in order. Yes, Cutler was served papers by a representative of pervy drama queen Robert Steinbuch. You remember Robert, right? He paid Cutler to push him around in a pram and pucker his taint? Yes...that Robert Steinbuch.

I would have hoped that the papers would get served during the reading, but apparently Steinbuch and his proxies have chosen this moment to stay out of the spotlight. That's too bad. I hope someone out there remembered my updated rules to tonight's drinking game.

According to DCist, she was going to read the details of the lawsuit to the crowd, but someone in the crowd had their thinking cap on and smartly told her not to do something that might get her in trouble. In my perfect world, Cutler swiveled on one hip and said, dryly, "Oh, you mean like choosing to hire your coworker as a prostitute so you can get worked over with a cat-of-nine-tails?" But that's just my perfect world. Not the world we actually live in. Heck, in my perfect world, Cutler pees Grey Goose martinis!


We have it on...well, let's say "good-esque authority" that there may be a surprise for all of you who are attending Jess Cutler's reading tonight in Penn Quarter. Let's just say that the standard rules for the Washingtonienne Reading Drinking Game apply, with the addition of this: if a process server interrupts the reading in any way to furnish legal papers on behalf of Robert Steinbuch, stand up, finish your drink, and proclaim: "Robert Steinbuch is a baby-dressing pervy weirdo who spends hard currency to fuck his coworkers!"

Alternatively, y'all can band together around Cutler, old-school USA Womens Soccer steez and proclaim: "I, too, would like a (tee hee)...filling!" And don't act all prudish. Most of you in attendance will probably be Hill newcomers--you might as well embrace our cash for ass culture right up front.

Remember, staffers and interns, a Cutler appearance is like, YOUR version of Pride Week. So let your flag fly.


Cleveland Park Men's Club said...

One of us had drinks with her last night and discussed many things.

This could be a good event to attend before heading over to the date auction benefiting the Whitman-Walker clinic at Aroma Bar in Cleveland Park tonight....

She'll get you all fired up. Then you can go spend money in the name of AIDS.

Anonymous said...

Cutler needs her own memorialized spot on the Hill...say the 5th Floor of the Rayburn Building (and before you write in, yes there really is a fifth's hidden), or say one of those locked storage rooms in SB. Barney Frank already has his plaque on the 6th Floor Longworth Men's Room, so that's taken...We'll have to give it some more thought, but I'm sure there's an appropriate spot somewhere on the Hill to honor her. ~~ Washington Cube

The Senator said...