Thursday, August 04, 2005

DCeptette: Big as the swing of Tiger Woods version

  1. All this talk about lesbians in the black community, their corresponding sistren in the white community, and what it means for the future of DC...aren't we forgetting the most important thing? They're all pink where it counts. (DCist)
  2. Panda cub Butterstick is thriving after its first encounter with the panda's most dangerous natural enemy--the staff of the National Zoo. (Washington Post)
  3. Headline fun: "Brain-Dead Va. Woman Gives Birth." So, cheer up, Michelle Malkin. There's hope for you yet! (Washington Post)
  4. More headline fun: Man, oh, man. Sitting enjoying coffee this evening, I initially saw this headline in my peripheral vision and thought momentarily that it said something that it didn't. The resulting double-take nearly gave me whiplash. (Washington Post)
  5. So President Bush says that children should be taught "intelligent design" should be taught so that "people can understand what the debate is about." Sheyit. Here's what the debate is about: a bunch of Booga Booga Foo Foo worshipping nimrods that think they're Christians and are actually paralyzingly stupid creating a debate where none need exist because they want their stultifying mumbo-jumbo taught as if it were actual fact. Nonsense elevated to an academic level. Do you not shudder at the thought of our top universities being forced to entertain this absolute claptrap? In the first place, an intelligent design class would simply be a guaranteed, grade inflating A-plus for anyone who took it, because the answer to every single question on every single exam is this: "Gooo-gahh. Duuuhhh. Witchy-witchy-woo. Bleeble-bleeble Jesus cakes." In the second place, can you imagine going to a doctor or an engineer or a surgeon who believes that crap and handing him or her your hard earned money to fix you or build you some shit? My mother went to a dental hygienist once, and the minute she told my mom that she employed the use of an "Oral Roberts University prayer rug" to fix her computer, my mom was OUT THE EVERLOVING DOOR before you could say "Ave, Maria." That said, I'd be all for schools cropping up to teach people this creationism nonsense, hell, I'd let them teach their students that believing in God can allow them to fly if they believe hard enough--after all, why not let these people dress their open wounds with fucking voodoo and keep their mind closed to the fact that God has provided his people with ample proof that we can't motherfucking fly--if it weren't for one thing: the Pattern. Think about the Pattern. Lysenkoism replacing scientific thought. Massive government tax subsidies to industries that are already more profitable then a thousand Croesuses with an unlimited amount of golden hens laying Faberge eggs on command. A foreign policy that exports the Glorious Revolution and the Great Step Forward by force on all the people who need to be trained like dogs by our state. If you don't recognize the pattern, maybe it's because you were lucky enough to grow up on the right side of the Berlin Wall, like I was. I can guarantee you that those who grew up on the wrong side of that wall have. Seen. This. All. Before.


Anonymous said...

i don't get the deal on the whole inteligent design debate... i mean its only going to be taught in areas where the schools are crappy (think alabama) so whats it matter? so another southern bumpkin gets told jesus made the world - not like we are going to loose the next einstein b/c of it. And it may make him or her feel better each day at their non-unionized automotive parts plant to believe jesus did all this so they could screw parts to a hyundai.

K said...

The problem, anonymous, is that these southern bumpkins vote, and vote more often than your average West Side metrosexual male. So they have an inherent effect on the lives of all of us. Teaching them ID isn't as bad as teaching them that Ben Franklin slept next to a bible or that Joseph Smith talked to aliens, but it's close.

Also, via Zunta

Princess Sparkle Pony said...

I'm so thrilled you came up with such a cute name for the baby panda. Did you know that there was one just born in San Diego and it, too, was reported to be "approximately the size of a stick of butter"?

Anonymous said...

kanishka- i think that you have hit on what underlies this conversation and well, to be blunt: we can teach evolution across the south all day every day and in the end the baptist church is still going to tell them who to vote for. i'm a far-left homo living in the megalopolis, but my parents live in southwest virginia and teh dems can't get their vote as long as they seem like a bunch of god-hating liberals. we keep fighting these stupid battles over church/state and they are costing us the war in every southern state. lets get some dems winning in the south and once the majority is back on our side the ID disappears from the textbooks. the far right beat us and then changed things, we need to learn that lesson.

donzacatl said...

While I am NOT a Bush supporter, it seems to me that more than one side is engaging in B.S. on this issue. What is being proposed is teaching both sides of the question - where is the threat in that? THere are actually plenty of non-"southern bumpkin" people who believe in intelligent design - which does NOT deny the reality of evolution and Darwin, but proposes that perhaps science and Christianity can both be right. To scream in protest at teaching I.D. is every bit as ignorant and idiotic as those who used to scream in protest at teaching evolution. Allowing young minds exposure to all sides of any question, and providing them with non-partisan information is only objectionable to those who insist that theirs is the only "right".

Blue Fish, Red Pond said...


The problem is that ID features no science whatsoever, so it has no right to be taught, even as an alternative. ID is metaphysical, there is no method of experimentation possible

Realist said...

The problem with the "theory" of intelligent design is that it's not really a theory. To qualify as a theory, there needs to be some kind of supporting evidence.

There is zero supporting evidence for intelligent design. What's usually given as such - "The universe is too complex to have just happened" - is not evidence. It's wishful thinking, just like most religious belief.

Anonymous said...


I have no problem with these things being taught in a sociology/philosophy, art history, or some other 'liberal arts' thinking course. But I.D. is not a science, and should not be taught in a science class.