Wednesday, September 28, 2005

DCeptette: It was a GOOD fucking day version.

  1. "Wow. Wow. Thank you. Ha! Yes. Yes. Thank you. Thank you all so much! Wow. You know...when DCSOB and I set out to ear-tag the most loathsome people in Washington, DC, We really operated without a net. We'd never really collaborated on anything before. We may have made the odd misjudgement along the way, and he and I didn't agree on everyone who got included. But, this honor we've received today...our first indictment! It just comes as such validation that our first stumble through this process was ultimately something that brought the world something positive. And this is a guy we both agreed should be near the top of the list! I can't tell you how happy--and I think I speak for both of us--how happy this news has made us. I was pumping my fist and cheering! It's--it's...wow. There are so many people to thank. Too many. So just...thanks to all of you. For being a part of this. DCSOB! We did it! We did it!" (Happiness!)
  2. What we said then, dig the prescience in bold: "He may be the most despicable piece of vermin currently darkening our fair city -- if he went swimming in New Orleans, he'd be mistaken for a nutria and shot for sport. Having ground what little ethical compass he may have possessed under his bootheel long ago, Delay has graduated from party hack to fusspot tinhorn despot through graft and intimidation. He uses poor children as a front for his backroom money deals, sluicing money to and fro between cronies and PACs cheating whatever system he can't just game. He's called The Hammer because of the way he manhandles his Congressional colleagues, but out in the real world, he's actually a noteworthy pussy. There's no one in Washington more roaring drunk on power: the most famous story of Delay's classless behavior was his response to Ruth's Chris Steak House manager Tom Khandker, who, after pointing out that Delay's smoking inside the building (the restaurant was housed in a Smithsonian property) was prohibited by the federal government, received Delay's ill-tempered rejoinder: "I am the Federal Government." In the future, Tom, your response should be: "Really? Well, then, as my public servant, I am going to suggest that if you don't want me to bend you over my knee and extinguish your cigar somewhere in the vicinity of your duodenum, you'll take you and your stogie the hell outside before you get throatpunched." Of course, there is an upside to Delay: apparently, his daughter is a huge skank."
  3. What would I ask Michael Crichton if I were on a panel that had invited the fiction author to expound on the topic of global warming, a topic on which he has no expertise? I'm thinking something like: "Oh, shut the FUCK up, Congo-boy." (Wonkette)
  4. As much as I like Cafe Saint Ex's visionary policy, I think that a rule exemption should be drawn up for local actor and affable Brit Hugh T. Owens, who can, in fact pull this look off. And trust me, the rest of you poppers...YOU CAN'T. (DCist)
  5. Oh. It's too good to not read AGAIN! (Suck it, asshat!)

3 comments:

hpmelon said...

I have not stopped smiling.

DCepticon said...

Dcepticon here writing from the Vast Left Wing Conspiracy. Mission accomplished agent 008. Mission accomplished.

rj said...

#2 indicted. I guess you could say that Earle "dropped the deuce."