Friday, September 16, 2005

Presidential Daily Briefing, September 14, 2005: Bladder determined to burst explosively inside gabardines



1. Say what you like, I preferred the President who didn't ask permission to get his dick sucked to the pussy who needs his handmaiden to get him a hall pass.

2. Those long sessions in the UN Secretariat are exactly the sort of things those "Stadium Buddy" catheter bag devices are made for.

3. The President says he "thinks" he needs a bathroom break. What magical sign of imminent discharge is he waiting for? I suppose this sort of thing must have been easier when he was wasted all the damn time.

4. I don't think anybody anticipated that his bladder wall would be breached.

5. You know what Bush and Condi's relationship reminds me of? The relationship between Captain Zapp Branigan and Kif Kroker on Futurama.

Captain Zapp Brannigan: It was almost the perfect crime, but you forgot the one thing: rock crushes scissors. [Suddenly thoughtful] But paper covers rock. And scissors cuts paper. Kif, we have a conundrum. Search them for paper. And bring me a rock.

9 comments:

The Governess said...

"Who's law? BRANNIGAN'S LAW."

The Deceiver said...

Leela: "You know Zapp, someone ought to teach you a lesson."

Zapp: "If it's a lesson in love, watch out! I suffer from a very sexy learning disability. What do I call it, Kif?"

Kif: *sigh* "Sexlexia."

The Governess said...

"April 13.2! We have failed to uphold Brannigan's Law. However, I did make it with a hot alien babe. And in the end, is that not what man has dreamt of since first he looked up at the stars? Kif, I'm asking you a question."

Tread carefully, Dceiver. This little back-and forth could go on indefinitely. I haven't even STARTED with the rhyming Becktionary yet.

The Deceiver said...

Al Gore: To my left, you'll recognize Gary Gygax, inventor of Dungeons & Dragons.

Gary Gygax: Greetings it's a...[rolls dice]... pleasure to meet you.

jordan said...

was that before or after you slept with him?

The Deceiver said...

Hopefully, you all will recognize that last comment as one of Bender's lines.

PK said...

I can't let this go by without joining in...

Zapp: I hate these filthy neutrals, Kif. With enemies, you know where they stand; but with neutrals, who knows? It sickens me...

jordan said...

i'm a more of a zoidberg fan, myself

it's funny because it's poisonous!

Anonymous said...

Bush sucks, but the truth of the matter was that Condi was the one asking for permission to go to the bathroom.