Friday, October 07, 2005

Katrina 100: 020 Past Performance as a Predictor of Future Outcomes

Commander Cuckoo Bananas, in response to concerned questions over the avian flu outbreak, recently stated that he is "monitoring" the situation.

Sigh. Based upon the way he heroically "monitored" Hurricane Katrina, we already know the basic plot points to the avian flu story: Three days after the avian flu has taken over the New Orleans Convention Center (having finished its official plenary session and divided into multiple breakout sessions), Shepard Smith will girlishly shout at Sean Hannity to get some "perspective." A rattled President Bush will then summon some shitwad buddy he used to get high with under the bleachers at his high school pep rallies and dispatch him to airlift some Sudafed to the white people. Kanye West will declare that the President doesn't care about chickens, Tom Delay will issue a statement reading "Suckers!" from his virus-protected haven in some penitentiary, and the Jeebus Freak League will photoshop a flu virus into the shape of Terri Schaivo. Don't worry, though, Trent Lott's front porch figures to come out of it okay.

2 comments:

The Senator said...

This is one of your best posts. Excellently invoked images.

But, who would get fired? Anyone?

Anonymous said...

Pear-fect. You got it exactly right!