SLAPS TO THE BACK
1. Conversations with spouse
"I have something to add to my love and hate list."
"Leafblowers. I officially hate leafblowers."
"Really? Wow. Kyle will be really saddened to hear that."
"I'm not talking about Information Leafblowers! I'm talking about Leaf Leafblowers."
"Just so we're clear."
2. He has come from the future to help the Packers of the city of Green Bay.
Greetings. My name is Samkon Gado.
3. The President does something good.
I have to say, it was nice to hear Bush offer support for Taiwan. And in front of China, at that! Wow, George! It takes real guts to stand up to your boss like that! (And in that spirit, see #2, below.)
4. World Cup field is set.
So much buzz for Togo right now.
5. Gotta love the critical mistake the Republicans are making right now.
Heh, Karl Rove fucked up, y'all. The Bush minions are running to all available microphones to denounce the Democrats' alternate POV on and plan for Iraq. But they're forgetting something. They beat the Dems soundly in the past few election cycles precisely because the Dems allowed themselves to be nibbled to death by consultants--leaving them with a strategy in which they became known as a party that doesn't have any articulatable plans for anything...their platform: disliking George Bush. Back during the election, hating George Bush was only attractive to people that were never going to vote for him anyway--the reachable, persuadable middle just wasn't prone to Bushphobic hysterics. Now, however, the ground has shifted. Those fence sitters are starting to bail and waver. Do the Democrats have a plan for Iraq? Fuck if I know! But if the polls indicate that the public is souring on your idea, it's not the time to acknowledge the competitors. Everytime the Republicans diss the Democrats point of view, they're accomplishing nothing but letting the public know that another point of view exists. Looks like someone better write Don't Think of a Donkey!
6. UVA Mens Basketball
Look at it this way. This season will be as bad as it's ever likely to get again.
KICKS TO THE NUTS
1. From the annals of bad taste
That's an actual ad from the Monroe County Tourist Council. No class.
2. Jake Dobkin
Let me see if I have this right. On November 13, you publish a column about how you found the road to wellville by making a clean break from the dirty material world and moved into the ascetic high priesthood, urging others to follow your plan to find the harmonious and monastic state of inner peace and clean living. Hey, to me, it came off as self-serving and phony as a dildo, but what do I know--my bullshit detector may be too tightly wound. Still, four days later, when you decide to slop yourself in ego-suet and engage in a candy-ass public slapfest with Lindsay Robertson, I have to wonder--did that come from that place of Zen serenity you so bracingly described earlier in the week? Did your unemcumbered, simple sort of life leave a little bit of piss in your mouth? Kinda vinegary and resentful for the guy selling the Tao of Trustfund. Hmm. That's hollow, man.
3. The reporter with the worst beat in the world.
Is the one who had to chase down this breaking news story.
4. The side-effects of blogging.
Some people have adverse reactions within a few months of starting a blog. Take this young man, for example. I think you'll agree--his entree into the blogosphere did not end well.
5. So, you're saying that the Senate had access to the exact same intelligence on Iraq as the White House?
Yeah. Cram it. My friend Ari Fleischer says you're lying.
6. Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.
Unless, of course, that small group of thoughtful, committed citizens are trying to save Arrested Development. In that case, that small group of thoughtful, committed citizens are more or less shit out of luck.
Friday, November 18, 2005
SLAPS TO THE BACK