Tuesday, January 17, 2006

DCeptette: The Song Remains the Same Version

  1. We think this was more or less prophesied, but Brooklyn's Clap Your Hands Say Yeah return to DC on March 8 to play the 930 Club. That means they have 51 days to learn how to play their songs in such a way that it does not immediately bring to mind the sucking of massive balls. [website]
  2. Meredyth Cole of the Madeira School--which in the DCeiver's day was the go-to academy for rich bitches with anti-social tendencies--is reportedly "shocked and amazed" at how prolificly involved students are with programs like Facebook, proving once again that there are two types of schools--those that fight the teaching of evolution and those that actively seem to disprove it. [Washington Post]
  3. Jack Abramoff truly can ruin everything. Even the all-sushi diet, which we've been itching to try in our fantasies ever since we saw an Upright Citizens Brigade sketch about a live-in sushi chef. Apparently, it sends the metabolic mercury soaring. Of course, we'll reserve judgement on any diet until it's been tried by someone other than Abramoff. That motherfucker's so corrupted that his body tissue now officially qualifies as treyf. [The Reliable Source]
  4. Earlier this month, the Washington Post profiled coffee brandy, a liquor that's popular in Maine, to the extent that it's a prevailing factor in local instances of alcohol addiction. We were deeply puzzled, wondering why on earth we had never heard of this booze before. But then it hit us: there are no hip-hop videos set in Maine. [Washington Post]
  5. I love the blogger known as Here's a Hint like a brother, but even I have to say: hoooo...you got good and rightly spanked. [Thrown For A Loop]

1 comment:

Le Porq said...

As The-Personal-Fishmonger-to-the-Red-State-Stars (one client is wannabe SCOTUS) I will go on record in vouching for high mercury levels in certain popular sushi fishes such as Ahi tuna and farm raised salmon. I'll also posit that it's possible Felonoff's sushi chef was trying to be a hero and poison him.

Here's the skinny for all your faithful readers:

- Mercury is in all fish -- it's unavoidable. It's more prevalent in larger models, such as swordfish, marlin, king mackerel, amberjack, tilefish, tuna, etc. A partial explanation for this: the more carnivorous the fish, the more mercury it will absorb from the fish it consumes.
- Like bad credit and guilt over bedding a dirty whore, mercury stays with you forever. This is why it's important for all yall preggerses to Say No to certain fish to avoid passing permanent mercury intake to yer little unborn bundle of wonderment.
- But c'mon, fish is incredibly healthy in other ways. That little whiny-ass fetus should be so lucky as to have a mom that eats lots of fish. High in protein, low in saturated fats, containing benefits like Omega-3's found in few other foodstuffs....every culture that centers on fish, like the Japanese, and the Mediterraneans, are healthier overall than others.
- So eat fish 2 or 3 times a week, rotate varieties and experiment with cooking techniques, don't just eat tilapia and salmon like a flake. Eat larger steak fish no more than twice a month to be safe, though honestly, you could eat it twice a week and be fine. You could as easily be hit by a bus tomorrow, so you might as well enjoy the finer things in life now, like a hunk o' buttery black cod in miso or seared wasabi crusted yellowfin.

But feel free to give as much steak fish as you want to people who perpetrate the red state agenda. In fact, the best way to ensure they get the "benefits" of good mercury intake is to stab them in the neck with a broken thermometer.

- Le Porq Out