Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Six of One and a Half Dozen of the Other

HASSELBECK!

1. Rachel Sklar
During a Wonkette guest stint in October, Rachel Sklar and I bonded over the secret Phil Collins Code that ran like a river through the Fitzmas celebration. She's supercool, and she's leaving her little plastic castle at FishbowlNYC to run free in the world. We wish her all the best.

2. The Allen Key Don't Lie!
J. E. Skeets busts a hilarious move chronicling Rasheed Wallace's attempt to assemble a dresser from Ikea. This is especially recomendated for The Cut.

3. Elevation Burger
The suburbs, especially the ones around the UVa. northern Virginia annex, were totally killing me today. Until we stopped off and grabbed some Big Phats from Elevation Burger. Organic, grass-fed delish farmed in Warrenton, grilled up perfectly.

4. Thank You For Smoking
The only movie coming out in the near future that we're more geeked up about is Snakes On a Plane, naturally.

5. Al Twanmo
He's the effing man!

6. Who doesn't love Matt Fraction?
Surely not you!


DELHOMME!

1. Absolut Kravitz
For the connoisseur of vodka, crotch sweat and patchouli oil.

2. Emily's Reasons Why Not
They say the studio "halted production" on this show this past week. After seeing the pilot, we hope that "halted production" meant doors were broken down, CTU-stizz everyone involved was put to the blade.

3. Grocery shopping in Falls Church
Look, we know that most of you are out here, playing out the string existence-wise, but at least try to walk with a purpose and a little bit of pride! Seriously, tar pits are forming under your feet.

4. Apple fucks over the Postal Service
And, worse, makes Kiefer a party to the shame.

5. True, but Sad
And sad, but true. From the peerless Holly Martins at Wonkette.

6. The Two Jakes
Plummer saves the Broncos his most Plummerific outing for the AFC Championship, Denver naturally tanks in embarrassing fashion. Meanwhile, Delhomme never looked more like SNL's Will Forte than he did against Seattle. Enjoy the commercials, kids!

3 comments:

Fletch said...

Oh man, those Sunnyside Farm Kobe Burgers make me want to be one of those cows. Um, up until the point that they get slaughtered and turned into fresh meat patties.

Anonymous said...

Why is it exactly that you can't be the new Wonkette?? These other folks don't hold a candle to you in funny, except maybe Holly, there, who comes close.

A. L. Deviant said...

I would like to second the anonymous. The Gawker Media's empire truly is a tower view if the solution is right here and they are passing it up.

I mean, if they got Bill Krystol on hash brownies, that my beat all, but short of Tina Fey or Rob Black... so far they ain't cut'n it.