"Let me make a few things clear. I'm a Federal agent. I'm heavily armed. And if I see that Eugene Levy motherfucker up in this bitch I am gonna pop a cap in every last piece of ass I see. That goes double if any of you bring up Sphere."
Dude: 'Sup, babe. Damn, I'd sure like to get my snake...in your plane, if you know what I mean.
Stewardess: Huh? My plane?
Dude: Yeah. I was using it as a euphemism. You feeling me?
Stewardess: That's a pretty stupid euphemism. *sigh* I suppose that by "snake" you mean your cock, right?
Dude: Woah, no! No. That would constitute an inappropriate sexual advance!
Stewardess: Then what do you mean?
Dude: Look, all's I'm saying is that I would really like to take my pet garter snake and put him inside your vagina.
"Wow. Uhm, thanks. You know, I would have maybe just, you know, moved the snake. But...uhh, yeah. Yeah. Tasering my crotch. That, uhm, really seemed to do the trick there."
Stewardess: You idiot! When the passengers on flight 93 said, "Let's roll!", it was just a figure of speech!
Dude: Baby, you KNOW I gotta problem with metaphors!