The Complete DCeiver on Wonkette

October 27, 2005

• Hi Wonketteers, I Want to Introduce My--Oh, Shit! Breaking
• Miers Withdrawal: The Story So Far
• GWU Prof to AU Students: Grow Some Balls
• Branding Butterstick
• Miers: Talking Head Dems Have Stopped Making Sense
• Smoke 'Em While You Can
• Plamegate: Oh How I Wish It Would Rain Down
• A Fitful Fitzmas Eve
• What I'll Regret Most Now That Harriet Miers Has Withdrawn

October 28, 2005

• Miers Postmortem: Even Airheads Piling On
• SCOTUS Nominee Wedding Crashers
• Fitzmas: Concerning the Care and Feeding of Grand Juries
• Scooter's Tender Resignations
• Butterstick Hearts Fruitsicle
• Thus Speaks Fitzgerald
• Lately I Get Nicknames
• Remainders: Serving Our Stalinist Masters
• Metro Section: How Many Leapin' Libbies Did My True Love Give To Me?
• Reflections On This Period of DCeption

December 9, 2005

• Iraq: The Central Front in the War on Christmas
• Double Fantasy
• Take The Retards Bowling
• The Fucking Note
• I Am Curious Butterstick
• Democrats Struggle to Become a Less Colloidal Medium
• The War On Christmas: Mutually Assured Embarrassment
• Bowling Predictions
• Metro Section: Cakelove Perestroika Edition
• Remainders: The Abu Ghraib in the War on Christmas Edition

December 16, 2005

• Corrections: Sketchy Precipitate Edition
• And, Hey, Three Days of Warnings From the National Weather Service Weren't So Bad, Either
• Breaking: Robert Novak is Done at CNN
• Patriot Games
• Wonkette Partycrash: Fun With Dick and Lynne
• Tom Tancreedo Keeps American Buffalo Alive
• If You're Wondering About The Eerie Quiet from Charles Schumer's Office...
• Metro Section: She Can Solve All Our Problems Edition
• The Week in Wonkette

December 19, 2005

• Requiem for a Heavyweight
• Bush News Conference
• Bound and Gaggled
• Show Me On the Body Politic Where the Governor Touched You
• Butterstick Goes Wild
• We Wish To Inform You That While We Ain't Saying You're a Gold Digger, You Don't Appear to Care About No Broke--
• Republican Senator Sends an Evite to Terrorists
• Have A Very Foxy Holiday
• Remainders: You're About To Be Taken To A Dreamworld of Magic Edition
• Metro Section: The Flashiest Robot Around Edition

December 20, 2005

• Slate's Idea of Comfort and joy
• The Return of Fitzmas
• Polls: Bush is Blowin' Up!
• The Story of Stickmas
• DoD on Avian Flu: We Guess the Best Defense is NOT a Good Offense
• The West Wing: The Future of Our Fake Presidency in Doubt
• Pop Some MoDoze
• Monkey Trials
• Metro Section: Bumbling and Fumbling Edition
• Remainders: General Zod Edition

December 21, 2005

• Wonkette Readers' Lives Keep Getting Better
• President Bush's Wiretapdance Continues
• Not To Mention That Money Doesn't Seem To Buy Much Class
• Dick Cheney Does Actual Work
• New York GOP Announces a Pending Pirrouette
• The Pentagon Casts a Queer Eye
• Pool Report: No Defense Against the Dark Arts
• Eat One of Linda Tripp's Footlongs
• Metro Section: Please Stand Clear of the Closing Doors Edition
• Remainders: What Happens Above the 49th Parallel, Stays Above the 49th Parallel

December 22, 2005

• Day of Teeth Gnashing, Garment Rending, Ends in Compromise
• Holiday Season of Scandal to be Fortified with Chutzpah
• Also, Two Wrongs Are the New Right
• Matt Drudge Imagines Himself in the Picture
• Butterstick's Big Day Out
• Robert Novak's Curtain Call
• Oh, Shut Up And Eat a Cookie
• President Bush Offers a Holiday Bag of mixed Messages
• Metro Section: Their Dark Materials Edition
• Remainders: Every Little Thing He Does is Scaring the Bejeezus Out Of Me Edition

December 23, 2005

• Stop Making Sensenbrenner: House Stabs Senate Compromise in the Heart With Trident
• Meet The Cryptokids!
• Butterstick Reaches New Frontiers of Adorability
• Monica Conyers Issues Beatdown
• Hot Bin Laden Niece Has American Journos Crying Uncle
• West Wing Futures: America Makes Its Pretend Choice
• Metro Section: Awash in Tackiness Edition
• Remainders: Your Active Denial System Edition
• The Week in Wonkette

December 27, 2005

• War on Christmas Ends for Another Year
• Be Careful What You Wish For
• What "Fair and Balanced" Gets You
• Vital Steps Taken in the Global War on Weather Extremism
• Comet to Close Amid the Sound of Grinding Axes
• Someone Could Do Better, Anyway
• None Dare Call it Frivolous
• Don't Tread On Butterstick
• Metro Section: Please Curb Your Curs Edition
• Remainders: Amother County Heard From Edition

December 28, 2oo5

• We Bombed In Baghdad
  
• Shorter Syriana
• Bound and Gaggled: Dense undergrowth Edition
• Trent Lott Swings on his Front Porch
• Butterstick: A Black and White Cookie of Cuteness
• Abramoffukah Comes to Montana
• MoDo Rubs Two Sticks Together, Enjoys Friction
• Dogs Die in Hot Senate Subcommittee Hearings
• Metro Section: Silent Trains Beneath Washington Edition
• Remainders: Magical Pools of Sweat Edition

December 29, 2005

• The Year in Accidental Tourism
• The Washington Times Needs a Hug
• The Washington Times Needs to Get Its Stories Straight
• All They Got is Brokeback Budget
• We Have Met The Enemy and It Is Us
• Bound and Gaggled: Vocal Coaching Edition
• Butterstick: Fresh Intelligence
• Here's a Suggestion for Scott McClellan
• Metro Section: Deez Nutz Edition
• Remainders: Fresh Fruit From Crazy Schemes Edition

December 30, 2005

• The Fine Grind At The Instant Karma Coffeehouse
• The Littlest Leaker
• All Crossed Up
• Sticking up For The Stick
• The Week In Wonkette

January 3, 2006

• Welcome to 2006
• Marion Barry Set Up Again
• Seriously, Could There Be A Better Dog Days Tie In?
• CNN Offers Hot Streaming Action
• Abramoffukah: It's On
• Cuteness of Butterstick Baffles Even Scientists
• US News and World Report May Know More Than They Are Telling Us
• The Day The Journalists Cried
• Bang The Manicurist Slowly
• Metro Section: Requiem for Southeast Jerome Edition

January 4, 2006

• Abramoff Pushes Retro-Capone Look for the Spring Season
• Pentagon Press Briefing: Iraq Stuck in Reruns
• Report: Male Employees at Media Matters Are Total Fucking Slobs
• Wonkette Answers Your Questions
• Officials Return Abramoff Monies Amid Choruses of "How'd That Happen?"
• Cliche Watch
• Panda Su Lin Desperately Reaches
• Abramoffukah: The Assfucking Angle
• Metro Section: Full Moon Over Bethesda Edition
• Remainders: Penultimately Penning on the Pevensie's Pensiveness Edition

January 5, 2006

• Michael Scanlon Was A Teenage Freakazoid
• ...Next Stupid Question?
• Abramoff Plays Ball
• Don't Iraq The Boat
• Bound and Gaggled: Misty Memories of Past Priorities
• The Continuing Saga of Michael Scanlon's Freak-Ass High School Career

January 6, 2006

• School for Scandal
• Children at Recess
• I Believe the Word You Are Looking For Is Constituents
• Pat Robertson Imagines God as a Petty, Clownish Thug
• Bound and Gaggled: Playing One Against The Other
• Breaking: Delay to Receive The Unkindest Cut of All
• Metro Section: Wouldn't Be Pruden Edition
• Remainders: Useful Conifers Edition
• The Week In Wonkette

March 8, 2006

• It's Hard Out Here For a Guest Blogger
• None of this Would have Happened If We'd Only Released Warrick Holdman
• We Accept The Note's Challenge
• What's Good For the Wiretapped Goose is Apparently Not Good for the Wiretapped Gander
• We Watch Your Homemade Documentary Shorts
• Our Friends in the Local Media Ruin Our Favorite Shows
• Metro Section: Encendador Edition
• It Was Love at First Sight
• Remainders: "Hey, Buff Guy, What Are You Benching" Edition

March 9, 2006

• Senate Agrees to Meal Ban Amid Mild Bitching
• ...At The Very Least, Add a Small Picture of a Man Sarcastically Air-Quoting
• We Correct Ann Coulter So You Don't Have To
• The Ecstacy of Saint Dobbs
• And Just Like That, There Were Never Any Problems in Iraq Ever Again Ever
• The Relative Importance of Your Political Stand, Rendered Pictorally
• Metro Section: Seventy Times Seven Edition

March 10, 2006

• There Are So Few Guarantees in Life
• The Dubai Denouement
• The Middle Schooling of the Senante Intelligence Committee
• The Exquisite Disillusionment of Pierce Bush
• BREAKING: Gale Norton To Resign
• Yo, That Kid is Buck Wild!
• To Do: Idiotarod, Irish Drama, Fake News
• Metro Section: Gollygosh, You Probably Have the Funny Idea that We Think Chris Matthews is a Dopey, No-Account Ponce Edition
• Remainders: Failures to Launch Edition

March 13, 2006

• Anatomy of a Censure
• A Bleg for Mr. Abramoff
• Thank God for 24-Hour News Networks
• WMATA Stalker Alert
• Presidential Daily Briefings Are Apparently Typeset on the Gutenberg Printing Press and Sent to the Oval Office by Passenger Pigeon
• Also, He Shouldn't Be Allowed to Use the Taxpayer Provided Pink Soap
• Frist's Greatest Fear: REVEALED!
• Some Fun For the Commenters
• Metro Section: Just Beat Duke Edition
• Remainders: We're All Bitches to the Bracket Edition

March 14, 2006

• Bill Napoli Is All Twisted Up And Dead Inside
• When We Finally Reach the Places We Have Come To Fear The Most
• The Awesome Classiness of the Bush Family
• All The Condicizing Has Finally Paid Off
• President Bush Seeks Poll Bounce Through Osmosis
• The Scorching Dipshittery of John Derbyshire
• Could We Pretty Please With Sugar On Top NOT Draft Pierce Bush?
• Metro Section: Our Vote is for Cashout by Fugazi Edition
• Remainders: As Bad As You Could Possibly Make It Edition
• And Yeserday We Said It Was Hard to Divine a Democratic Message

March 15, 2006

• Hey Democrats--You Got Served!
• Crude Fun With Photoshop
  
• Federal Appeals Court Rules Against the Invasive Probing of American Citizens
• Intellectual Dilettantes At Play in the Fields of Punditry
• NYT Gives Mark Warner the Dorian Gray Treatment
• But Is There a Subset of the Note that Can, Uhm...Write?
• TTFN, Wonketteers!
• Metro Section: Smokin' That Crystal Edition
• Remainders: While You Were Getting Alan Smitheed By George Clooney Edition

April 27, 2007

• Meet Your Guest Editor
• Interweb Dorks Critique Our Liveblogging Skills
• FBI Training: NSFW, NSF Anybody
• How Does a NeoCon Vampire Get a Job at the World Bank, Anyway?
• OMGs Chris Dodd, Thanks For the Add!
• Mike Gravel Wants the Military to be "Colorful, Intermingled" and Ready to Die a Hot, Flaming Death
• What? You Want the Wolfowitz Discourse Elevated? DONE.
• John Edwards to War on Terror: "NAA NAA NAA NAA!!! I DON'T SEE YOU!!"
• Well Played, Dennis Kucinich!
• Walnuts McCain's All Hatin' on New Hampshire Civil Unions
• Hillary Tries to Explain Away Her Tendency to Accentuate Her Pandering
• Rumors On The Internets: Oh, Put A Sock In It!

April 28, 2007

• Everyone's Still Doing It With Whores Apparently
• Ha Ha! Michelle Bachmann's Leg Hurts
• Atlantans Harness Medieval Technology to Promote Literacy, Cheney Presidency
• Randall Tobias' History of Infelicities Hinted At
• Fringe Candidates Cement Their Fringeness By Making Desperate, Poorly Thought Out Appeals
• Today is Tax Freedom Day!
• Hillary to Selectively Demonstrate Shame In Her Upbringing
• What's On Fire Today In DC
• Deborah Jeane Palfrey Explains It All For You
• Washington Post Makes Avoiding Politicians Easier Than Ever
• Why Washington DC May Have To Go Without Representation After All
• TTFN, Wonketteers!