Friday, March 24, 2006

Fall Out Boy

Okay: I've gotten to sample the cream of some young guy the Post thinks ought to be paid to blog for their website. The Washington Post, which has recently been widely praised for the quality of their blog offshoots, has either taken square aim at their own two feet or pulled off one the wildest, most subversive stunts in the history of political journalism. At this point, it could go either way. If it's the former, well, you can expect the career of this blogger to be over and done with by this time next week. If it's the latter, well...we'll have Little Lord Domenech to kick around for a nice long time. It's hard to take a side. The story in brief:

  1. Domenech apparently worked as a speechwriter . One person who he served in this capacity is lunatic crank John Cornyn, the senator from Texas. It'd be interesting to note if Cornyn's celebratory words for Atlanta Courthouse murderer Brian Nichols, which lauded the way Nichols took his fight with judicial activism to Tarantinoesque extremes, were Domenech's idea.
  2. A Red Dawn discussion? My, wouldn't you imagine Red Dawn to be something of a quaint, pre-911 view of the world? It's stupid of the Post to suggest it as a name for the blog, sure. But it's even dumber to make people think that you forcibly secrete your own body fluids on the poster as well. Where's the central front in the war on terror, again?
  3. Oh, dear. It turns out he's a plagiarist. And he doesn't even have the good sense to have plagiarized me. That's just stupid of him. Here's a hint, Ben: you should at least aspire to the new journalistic standard of just making shit up.
  4. Also, this phrase: "It's a political anchor apotheosized by the founders of leftist websites..." Hmm. Let me ask Ben, slowly and loudly: "DO YOU...SPEAK...ENGLISH...?" This is America, and in America, "apotheosis" is a NOUN. We have some perfectly nice verbs we use in this country, please refrain from inventing your own. Gosh. You make me overjoyed to have not gone to William and Mary.
  5. My overall verdict: meh. With his well-earned reputation for being shrill and deranged, I expected writing of a much higher caliber of loony. I'm frankly disappointed at the tepid offerings thus far. One can only conclude that Ben, for all his criticism of the mainstream media, wants the same thing every mainstream political journalist wants from their career: to be invited to all the right parties.
My advice: Ben, since you love Bush so much, tweak your tone toward something more fluffy and earnest as you recite your Daily Rove script. Before long, you'll be known as the Boy Bumiller. Otherwise, sugar, you're going down!


Here's a Hint said...

That's the gayest blog I've ever seen. I mean that literally; all the god damn posts are about gay rights issues. Is someone obsessed? Or maybe in the closet? Seriously, if there's one thing that we have more of than snarky left-liberal blogs, it's dunderheaded right-wing conservative blogs. What need does his blog serve?

PK said...

Ummm.... HaH, I think you might be looking at the wrong blog. Domenech's weird issue this week was doctors killing children. Not UNBORN children, mind you, but regular already-born children. If there's one issue that all of my red state family and friends agree on, it's that murdering children is a bad thing. Domenech sure nailed that! Hopefully, we'll just wipe the world clean of those bloodthirsty doctors so the children will be safe.

Anyway, my main complaint is that this guy makes people from red states look like retards. Not only is he a bad writer, but he pretends to be a good one. Not only is he a name-calling, ultra-partisan jackass, but he pretends that he is civil and it's his detractors that are name-calling, ultra-partisan jackasses. Not only does he claim to represent the red America that is unrepresented among the coastal elites, but he does so while proudly proclaiming himself a well-educated wunderkind of the right-wing machine who uses words like apotheosis (and uses them incorrectly)!

My advice to Domenech is to take in a healthy amount of football this season, and mimic the language he hears there (although I hear Kornheiser will be in the booth this year, so it might be a bad time to start this). You'd never hear John Madden using "apotheosis". He would have gone with a nice red-state word like "Boom!" But then again, he's a REAL red-stater, not a fake.

The Deceiver said...

For the record, John Madden was born in Minnesota, and raised in Daly City, CA. Still, I think you made a good point about effective communication--Madden's a simple speaker, but not a condescending one. Fall Out Boy manages to muck up his language while lording it over everyone. It's a nice combination of stereotypes.

PK said...

Madden may have a blue-state background, but honestly, there's no more Red State football team than the Oakland Raiders!

Also, Madden's weight, accent, and fear of flying means he's TOTALLY red state. For him, there's no such thing as a flyover!

Tales From the Club said...

He just resigned.

PK said...

Ummm... so, THAT didn't take long. NEXT!

Here's a Hint said...

Finally something happens at the speed of e-Business!

As to what blog I was reading, since this post had no link (which I was going to originally post about), I found a link a few entries down to Red America and it was literally like 10 entries about gays and gay marriage and how horribly wrong it all is.

Le Porq said...

Thank god the fucker resigned before I had a chance to read anything on his blegh beyond "Bandwidth Exceeded".

Ah, blog-noise finally reaches a new crescendo -- Over Before It's Blogun.

- le porq