Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Blogversations with the PIABS. Part 34 in a series.


We're a lot like you, in that we like to think of the Nabob and the Governess as DC's version of Will Arnett and Amy Poehler and we get to go on pony rides together every weekend. Long and hilarious pony rides.

So,
read this.

I can't wait for them to finish transcribing "What It Must Be Like to Go Through Pirate Family Therapy," because when it is done I will stage it. And I'll totally be casting Sommer Mathis again, and I absolutely will not stop doing so until she breaks out of her writers block and dispenses her own FW Thomas goodness into the world, because you know it will be so best.

"What It Must Be Like to Go Through Pirate Family Therapy" has got to be at least 7.2 times as funny as the "Pirate Convention" sketch they ran on SNL, where the only joke was saying Peter Sarsgaard's name like "Peeeterrr SAAAHHRRRSgaaaahhhrd."

Though Peter Sarsgaard has a hilarious name, and I hope that he and Maggie change their last name to "Gyllgaardsarsenhaal." That's the sound made by a Welsh person and a Scandinavian person copulating.

There's precedent for the name change. I once knew a T_____ Lovaas who married a T____ Hoffman who changed their last name to "Loveman". They were the Lovemans. Or, if you prefer, the "Lovemen." When I heard they were doing this, I thought to myself: "My word. Please gag me with a million billion Semtex nerve gas spoons, right away please."

The sad news is the Lovemans (or Lovemen) got DIVORCED. Do you remember a day when your innocence died? That happened on the day the Lovemans (cf. Lovemen) got DIVORCED. THEY WERE THE FUCKING LOVEMANS! (Ibid!) How do you go on living in a world where there is no room for the Lovemans to love? I don't know how. You just muddle on, a little bit sadder, a little bit wiser.

We may never know how the end of the Lovemans love came about. Because I am not friends with them anymore. Because I apparently thought their last name was too "hilarious." Well, the joke's on them! Except it's no joke.

Ou sont de Lovemans d'antan? Golly, Yossarian. We may never have an answer for that.

3 comments:

The Governess said...

omg. Sommer as the therapist. Okay, we need to work on this like: IMMEDIATELY.


I want the parrot from Hatebeak somehow involved, obvs.

DCepticon said...

I feel this is the best entry ever. It takes a pop culture reference drops it on its head with celebrity marriage, followed by a touch of personal experience, andf finishes with that smooth Joseph Heller after taste. Goodness that was fun.

Sommer said...

Dude, don't you know I fold like a taco under pressure?

Also, I'd like you both to consider me for the role of a sulky teen pirate who has maybe been experimenting with a little cutting while listening to the Smiths. Therapist is cool too, though.