Friday, April 21, 2006

Decider House Rules

By now you all know that President Bush responded to the serious-minded call to justify Donald Rumsfeld's continued employment as the Secretary of Defense by telling the world: "I hear the voices and I read the front page and I hear the speculation. But I'm the decider, and I decide what's best. And what's best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the secretary of defense."

No real surprise here. Our ersatz Commander in Chief is given the opportunity to provide a deserving nation of adults with his well-founded rationale, and, just like always, he responds as if the American people were a bunch of children. He could have said, "You guys don't get dessert until you've finished your lima beans" and it would have sounded more nuanced.

But let's take a look at the President's statement in a larger context.

You might suggest, Mr. President, that the public outcry over Rumsfeld gives aid and comfort to our enemies. I would conversely submit to you that when a bunch of experienced military professionals question the ability of Mr. Rumsfeld, it serves as a reminder to our enemies that there exist able Americans who could replace the Secretary of Defense who's driven us into a ditch and thus defeat those enemies, but you might suggest it, all the same.

Similarly, you might suggest that publicly opposing your program of warrantless wiretapping of American citizens gives aid and comfort to our enemies. I would conversely submit to you that it actually greatly comforts our enemies to know that the limited resources of the NSA are being diverted to the WARRANTLESS investigation of American citizens instead of the WARRANTED investigation of terrorists, but you might suggest it, all the same.

And heck, you might suggest that every time the media reports that something bad has happened in Iraq, it gives aid and comfort to our enemies. I would conversely submit that the insurgent forces in Iraq have no need for media reports on their activities because they have first-hand knowledge of their successes, but you might suggest it, all the same.

However, I would suggest to you that every time you are seen in public addressing the American people in a manner that reflects your OBVIOUS lack of respect for us, treating the people who pay out of pocket to support this nation and from whom you derive your political power as little more than two-year olds, it doesn't so much give aid and comfort to our enemies as much as it bakes our enemies a cake, tuck our enemies into beddy-bye, reads our enemies Goodnight Moon, and then, after a quick little kiss on their cheeks, leaves our enemies' nightlight on so they aren't afraid.

I'd love for you to dispute me on this regard, Mr. President, if only because I would make damn sure you used your adult voice when you are speaking to me.

You see--it's not that I begrudge you the opportunity to parent us. I just wished you loved us as much as you loved our enemies.


Gibson said...

I'm not even certain that "decider" is actually a word.

Gabriel Fry said...

It's definitely the band name du jour, though.

DCepticon said...

You know there are some people who would say that was a rant. I am not one of them but there are those who would. God Bless you.

Gibson said...

I am new to this particular blogosphere- what is the difference between a DCeier, a DCeptette and a dcepticon?

PS Fox News has Bush's approval rating at 33%! Yee haw!

Gibson said...

I meant "DCeiver." Oops. That's what I get for not previewing a post.

PK said...


One is a blogger, another is a recurring post theme on his blog, and the third is a terrifying robot that can transform into an evil truck or something and run over your sorry ass. Oh yeah, and he's a blogger too.

The Deceiver said...

DCepticon is usually very gentle with my sorry ass.

dubya said...