Tuesday, May 16, 2006

My Rebuttal to the President's Address

  1. Militarizing the Southern border: I'm not seeing where the whole "as X stands up, we will stand down" sound byte fits in here.
  2. Yeah, okay. But I have a better idea. Why don't we just deploy the National Guard to pick fruit and maybe bus the odd table here and there. Wouldn't that solve this problem just as fast?
  3. The electoral calculus on this only works when you can factor in guaranteed Democratic Party inneffectiveness, and, on this regard, they probably gambled correctly.
  4. It must have really hurt the President to hear about how the right-wing blogosphere went poopy-pants on him this weekend. They didn't even seem to devote much time to defending his crazy new NSA datamining program! But some of them want Articles of Impeachment drawn up because we've been apparently tipping off the Mexicans as to the positions of the Minutemen. But, in Bush's defense, who wouldn't want to know if Minutemen were skulking around ther neighborhood? Minutemen, rabid dogs and John Wayne Gacy: I want to know where these things are at all times.
  5. Let's check the scoreboard: So, it's totally cool for John Gibson to exhort white people to make more babies--a KKK talking point circa 1998, but it's blogs that are destroying journalism. Okay. I'm officially going to start eating Vicodin for breakfast in the morning. Now, if anyone needs me, I'm going to cue up Grey's Anatomy on the VCR and maybe cut myself a few times with this awesome piece of broken glass I found.

4 comments:

business voodoo said...

... thanks for the 411 ... glad i didn't see it ... not by design, by disconnection of the tv to remodel ... perhaps its a good thing the tv stays off.
keep on keepin' on ... the headlines today and the reports of this have made me re-read my declaration of independence ... it is scary, really it is, where we need to be ... i changed a few words here and there, but started a new blog, titled "I Am A Free American" ... 'http://americandeclaration.blogspot.com' with my own declaration of independence.
peace & harmony,
elaine
'freedom must be exercised to stay in shape!'

DCepticon said...

I believe John Wayne Gacy is currently in a 6 foot deep hole somewhere in the Chicago suburbs. I'll get my staff working on that.

Castor OiL said...

We should impress the himan animal hybirds into service on the border. Just imagine how much ground the Thundercats could cover in Texas alone.

Gibson said...

"But I have a better idea. Why don't we just deploy the National Guard to pick fruit and maybe bus the odd table here and there. Wouldn't that solve this problem just as fast?"

BRILLIANT!

Also, why don't we use them in place of a real volunteer military in a never-ending war in the Middle East, too?

Oh, wait... shit.