Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Jay-Z Finally Notches 100th Problem

I didn't want to let the news of Jay-Z's dust-up with the makers of Cristal pass without comment. Last week, some big-wig at Cristal had the nerve to seem somewhat ambivalent about Cristal's place in the hip-hop iconosphere, saying: "What can we do? We can't forbid people from buying it. I'm sure Dom Perignon or Krug would be delighted to have their business."

Now one might that this was the reaction of a hopelessly a-sea, dessicated old Euro who planned to live a long and happy life without ever having to address the vagaries of American pop-culture. You might think that, but, of course, you'd be wrong. Clearly this man and his overpriced grape soda rocket right to the top of the list of Racist People Places and Things that Adversely Affect the Black Community, and Jay-Z, being, you know, the pioneering civil rights leader that he is, jumped on them with a quickness, banning the grape soda from his hopelessly expensive clubs.

There can be no doubt than plans are afoot for The DCeiver to endorse Hova for the Nobel Peace Prize. Just as soon as me and Jigga and the makers of Cristal are the last fucking people left on the planet.


Tones said...

Jay-Z doesnt need a Nobel Peace Prize, he's the freakin president of Def Jam!

Seriously, he hasnt said anything about "civil rights". he just called the dude "racist". Which is accurate.

A. L. Deviant said...

Just to be pedantic, since when is the hip hop world or, more broadly, American pop culture considered to be exclusively black? To call the Cristal dude racist is way too easy. To say he's an elitist snob is more appropriate and accurate.

True, the hip hop world has a distinct chocolate flavor to it, but what about Eminem? And Alicia Keys is half caucasian, don't forget. The Cristal dude is just a pompous fucker who doesn't regard or respect a demographic of his clientele. That?s not racism, that's just bad business. So, may bankruptcy find him and soon. But, given how fare fate generally is, not fucking likely.

So sayeth this honkey.

Tones said...

Oh that's right, I forgot about all those Cristal-promoting songs by like The Dixie Chicks and Cheryl Crowe

Anonymous said...

you guys are full of shit. who would want their business associated with the likes of hip hop, like it or not. fess up -- you'd be embarrassed by it as well. and who's a bigger racist, some distant Euro, or Hova himself encouraging the "Look at Me - I'm a clown" bullshit that has overrun every other aspect of black society. What did Cristal say in the end? "We don't like being associated with morons who exploit the shitty, fake, and unstainable charade hip hop". Its racist to think a respecable black person would disagree.