Tuesday, June 13, 2006

The Weekend

This past weekend, when I wasn't sequestered in the Callan Theatre or getting my fill of international soccer, I was at TOMCATCHA's party. There I learned fascinating things about the historical alley they live adjacent to, how it used to be THE place in DC to come to if you needed your horses shoed (hence its width, so as to allow the passage of carriages), how it later became THE place in DC if you wanted to purchase recreational drugs in the open air (guarded by snipers, no less!), and how now it's a quiet and clean alley that features a bed and breakfast (strangely, still guarded by snipers).

I got to work through a personal issue:
That being that the following lyric, from Live, may be the dumbest lyric ever penned (from the Trying To Sound Deep Category): "Our love is like water / Beaten down and abused for being strange." Okay, I have no problem with someone saying their love is like water. What bugs me is that I have never in all my life observed anyone beating down or otherwise abusing water. I can assure you, if I had, I would have intervened. "Hey!" I would have said, adding, "Leave that water alone. What did that water ever do to you?" But what really galls me, and it strikes to the heart of this lyric's stupidity, is that you'd be hard pressed to prove that water is somehow "strange", let alone prone to being "beaten down and abused." Water covers seventy percent of the Earth's surface. That's hardly strange. About the only thing remotely strange about water is that it periodically falls from the sky--but we've all learned to accept this. So: lyric=stupido.

I got to complain about a great injustice:
I read earlier in the week that the baby born with three arms was to have one of the three arms removed. For shame! Has X-Men: The Last Stand taught us nothing? Clearly this child was an evolutionary leap forward. This kid was going to grow up to have extraordinary abilities that preview our own advancement as a species. Clearly, the advent of the mouse for computers was done to promote specificall this sort of genetic improvement. Had this child grown up to work in the field of computing, his productivity would have been extraordinary. Moreover, the wanks he could have enjoyed with that third arm would have been sublime.

I came face to face with an unavoidable truth:
Rob Goodspeed is the most popular person in DC. There has never been, as far as I can remember, a weekend evening in which he did not have multiple social engagements. I have seen him blow off his own soirees. This is amazing considering how much time Rob spend talking about "wikis."

I read that Matt Yglesias was, while walking home, assaulted by a thrown cup of soda. We all know that Garrett Graff was involved somehow.

Sommer Mathis' hair? Awesome.

Finally, don't you think this picture deserves some sort of caption?

Here's hoping the proletariat was sufficiently motivated by Kriston's efforts.


The Governess said...

just the opposite. I think that photo needs NO EXPLANATION WHATSOEVER. sit and bask in the glory of it. there are no words.

i'm still working on something to challenge your Live/"worst-lyric-ever" statement. so far, I'm coming up goose eggs.

Blogs t r e t c h said...

I also particularly enjoyed when you brought a glass of water out to your wife later in the evening and told her "It's strange! Beat it down! Abuse it!"

catherine said...

tomcatcha. nice. i approve!

Jay said...

Re the strangeness of water: Is it possible the writer knew of a historically very important density fluctuation near its freezing point temperature? It's certainly strange from a chemical perspective.