Thursday, July 27, 2006

Crime Emergency Update: Armageddon It!

Come on, now. I understand that there was a need to declare a "crime emergency." But is there some sort of higher rated circumstance the DC Police can place around the are where the Rock Creek Rambler's car is parked? A "crime apocalypse" maybe? Because his car's been broken into, like, FOUR TIMES this month. Surely any flatfoot looking for an easy collar has got his car on lockdown right now--catching criminals is like shooting fish in a barrel.

Seriously. By last count, that British dude has only been killed ONE time. From what I hear, they're forcing black people in Georgetown to carry signs that say, "I mean you no harm, my beloved European cousins!" and keep their last four tax returns on their person for random inspection. So, if no one else is willing to do it, I am hereby raising the terror alert level around the Rock Creek Rambler's car to the cover of Def Leppard's Hysteria album.

Please, police. Pour some sugar on that motherfucker, already.


Boutros said...

LOL. I would love to see a full alert scale based on 80s rock album covers.

rcr said...

Quite extremely coincidentally, I have a Def Leppard bumper sticker on my car.

I'm not joking.