Thursday, July 27, 2006

DCeptette: Cuddle thrash! verson.

  1. Apparently Sommer and Matt Yglesias recently doubted Mr. Kriston Capps--a fine, frequently shot at, upstanding citizen--of inventing his banana allergy. I can attest, however, that this allergy exists and that I am similarly afflicted. A pity, because the nanas are tops. But I can't eat them. And, like Kriston says, I can't eat melons (honeydew and canatloupe specifically) for the same reason. I've never had any trouble with avocado, though. And I share Kriston's hatred of kiwi fruit. But the banana allergy exists. I've got your back, KC. And not just because I still owe you $$ for Sleater-Kinney tickets. [Grammar Police]
  2. So, Clarendon's been circling the drain for quite some time now. The coming of the Cheesecake Mosque signaled the onset of acute lameness, and the condition's been looking more and more terminal. Evidence of its persistent suckatative state include Arlington's continuing desire to transform the hood into a fugtified high-rise nightmare, the Ebola like spread of ever crappier Irish pubs (including one, Shitty OkaysKitty O'Shea's, which, as a testament to its condescending ridiculousness, has signage on the front that says "An Irish Pub"--the mere fact that they think that a passerby of minimal IQ would mistake "Kitty O'Shea's" as an attempt at a Thai fusion cafe is proof enough that the establishment has about as much to do with Ireland as it does with Scooby Fucking Doo), and the fact that Saturday nights at the Clarendon Metro Station has become a veritable Jeff Corwin Experience of the study of free-range douchebags in their natural habitat. But with the news that Clarendon institution Lazy Sundae has been kicked out all the way to Falls Church should dispel any hope that the neighborhood will one day recover from its current affliction. [Arlington Connection]
  3. So, one day after a strategic leak allowed Maryland Senate candidate unleash his novel "self-hating Republican" strategy--don't laugh, it's a winning idea given the fact Bush is about as popular as psoriasis--he takes it a step to far with this reality-bending statement: ?The president doesn?t want a sycophant in the United States Senate...He doesn?t want a ?yes? man. He wants someone who?s going to be genuine in his approach to solving the problems." Of course, every piece of factual evidence points to the fact that sycophants and yes-men are PRECISELY what the President prefers (and precisely what Steele is), and if you don't believe me, ask the Republicans who really DO have Scarlet Letters pinned to their chests. [Wonkette]
  4. "Almost every single person I have spoken to since returning from Orlando has had the same three words to say: Armpit. Of. America." I can say from personal experience, that's being charitable. [Don't Waste the Pretty]
  5. Everytime I hear "It's All Right to Fight" by Ninja High School, I think about how that song is totally going to be the opening credits song to Pygmalion In a Blanket: The Movie. So dovetaily. Anyway, get set for the next round of genius/unhinged bit of home crafting. [PIAB]


Anonymous said...

Oh yes, the banana allergy is real. And the melons too. Watch out, it is also the mandarin oranges (no other variety, strangely enough).

Castor OiL said...

This quote really freaked me out -

"It really is terrible," said Nancy Gito. Gito and her friend Amy Glassman stopped by the ice cream parlor on Friday to satisfy their sweet tooth. "It was one of the wonderful first local businesses in Arlington ? a place to send your kids ? a family place," Gito said.

I thought Arlington was a couple hundred years old but apparently it was just founded around the time Lazy Sundae opened, being one of the first local businesses and all.

I must have been thinking of Reston.

The Deceiver said...

For many people, Arlington wasn't founded until that Emmet Swimming song came out.

inanecrap said...

I read somewhere recently that the Cheesecake Factory has 200 items on it's menu. What's amazing is that every single one of them is mediocre. I guess that's why they build giant mosques in the middle of Clarendon--monuments to mediocrity.

Oh, and your Kitty O'Shea's comment made me laugh because it reminded me of the time my friend (who is "Irish," btw)wanted to drink an Irish beer on St. Patrick's Day and bought ... I shit you not ... Killian's Red.