Friday, August 11, 2006

DCeptette: I want this motherfuckin' bridge off this motherfuckin' river version.

  1. After yesterday's near terror attacks, I can't help but wonder: when is someone going to comment at the palpable, cheerful, giddiness emanating from the White House at the news that terrorists still want to kill people? I mean, when they hear about people aspiring to deal in death, when they witness the destruction they cause, this administration starts slapping five and cooking up s'mores! There's this general sense that there is a totally acceptable level of killing, damage and generalized anti-American/anti-Western mayhem that the Republicans are willing to tolerate--and that somehow, even after all that's happened, we haven't past it yet. This is why Bush's non-response to Katrina was so revealing: is it surprising that he evinced so little concern over the hurricane's destruction? To Bush, dead Americans have always been a good thing. At any rate, we're relieved that Scotland Yard and some old-fashioned pre-9/11 law enforcement procedures managed to thwart this attack (as they so often do, at least when you LISTEN to the people who've uncovered the plot!), and if you know a Brit, give 'em a hug today. Maybe even fondle their ass. But just a little.
  2. Today, we were in Caribou Coffee. A woman standing by the bar picks up her iced tea, looks at it, and proclaims it insufficient. "Could someone put some more tea or some more mango in this, because it tastes like water!" Mind you, she never tasted it. Anyhoo, baristabou takes her cup, dumps it out, pours tea from the exact same receptacle back into the cup, pauses for five seconds, and then hands back a cup that does not differ in appearance from the previous cup in any way whatsoever. Of course, the exact same tea now meets the customer's satisfaction. Oh, you have no idea how precious you are to me.
  3. I don't know who the Circumlocutor is, or how he or she has managed to open this window into Eric Wemple's bottomless well of crapulent hypocrisy--BUT WE LIKES IT! [Circumlocutor]
  4. The Steven Colbert "You're On Notice" Board Customizer: simply the best thing in life. [DCist]
  5. I think that the winner of the "Who Wants to Blow Up the Wilson Bridge?" contest should be determined by the quality and complexity of the proposed means of blowing it up. Our entry: "We are going to make sure the Wilson Bridge makes it to paradise where it can consort with seventy-two virgin bridges for all eternity by covering it in its entirety with deadly-ass motherfuckin' snakes and then blowing it up by detonating our bottles of PAKISTANI TERRORISM JUICE!" [Washington Post]


Anonymous said...

i must deduce that YOU are the obvious "dumbass",,,, and a confirmed asshole, as articulated in your blind, ignorant tirade.
have a great, bitter, angry and futile life.

The Deceiver said...

You deduced incorrrectly, dipshit.